Locked and Loaded

Ok people, I'm lit. Yet again. So here's another list of ran-dumb things that occured to me after I had been "overserved.

Once ur already drunk, it doesn't matter what else you drink, cuz your tastbuds are already done for the night.

Alcohol and ANY type of milk, milk product, or fruit is a very very bad idea.

Comcast is a bunch of bitches.

Bank of America is a bunch of bitches.

Exxonn is, you guessed it,a bunch of bitches.

My brother is one of the funniest people on earth. And that's NOT an exageration.

The five cent sale @ the liquor store is a beautiful thing.

I love purple, I hate pink.

Clearly, I've been "overserved"...Yay.

Better stop now before I say something that's going to get me in trouble.

Toodles
Nik

Now back to our regularly scheduled program...

my eyeballs are drooling...

Next up on my "im your stan" list...

Melanie Fiona - Give It To Me Right
MEET MY NEW OBSESSION: MISS MELANIE FIONA. for those of you who don't know, I absolutely love artistic people. Dancers, singers, writers, poets etc all have a very special place in my heart. Not to say that I'll shun you for being a linear type, cuz ya'll know I loves me some Amber Rose and her only apparent talents are being fine ass a muthaf*cka and ignoring hata's, but I digress.

So Ms. Fiona... How you dooooin?

Nik

oh the media.who acts like this? i mean really...

A Series of Unfortunate Events

Do to several factors beyond my control, I am sitting here, wide awake, @7am, messing around on this damn computer. I am soooo upset. It is storming so hard that even if I could sleep, the thunder and lightning would have surely woke me up by now. I need to change my surroundings bad. I think its time to head back to California. Who's with me?
Nik

Not Such An Invisible Life

I had to come back and say something about the death of one of my favorite authors, Mr. E. Lynn Harris. Harris passed away after collapsing suddenly at an L.A. stop on his book tour. This man didn't just open the dialogue about "non-identifying males who sleep with males" (uh , yeah, down low brotha's), he kicked the door open and never looked back.

There is something bothering about Mr. Harris' death (besides the fact that we will no longer have his great work to look forward to).

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE RIDDLE ME THIS: Why is it that EVERY EFFING TIME a homosexual person dies suddenly, the rumors AIDS/HIV rumors immediately start popping up? It is an absolute possibility that Mr. Harris was stricken with that terrible disease. It is also possible that just about anyone who dies suddenly in this day and age may have been infected. It is also possible that he had a brain tumor, an aneurysm, hyper-thyroid ism, or any number of ailments. But because he was a gay man, all you hear is, "oohh I bet he had that package."

Why are people so stupid? It really drives me crazy(er)! We may come to find out that Mr. Harris did have HIV/AIDS. We may find out that he didn't. But that seed will always be in someones mind about his sudden death. It's unfortunate and unfair.

One thing that I have learned about my community is that, if no one else is getting tested, we are(understand that my community includes all professional, educated, established, non club hopping, non bed hopping, rainbow belt/earring/bumper sticker/bracelet/shoestring/suspenders all at the same time members of the GLBT community). Its more often than not those closet cases, the women with husbands who want to lay up with the hot chick from work every time she gets the chance, and, of course the "covered" types, that have bought into the lie that they are selling the world so deeply that they really don't believe that they need to be tested. We are in a sad, sad, state.

E.Lynn Harris was an amazing writer, educator, and philanthropist. He will be truly missed.

In a serious funk...

I have really been neglecting my blog lately. I have been having some serious difficulties focusing on what I want to write. Not because I haven't had a crap load of possible material land in my lap. Stupid gay sh*t seems to seek me out. Every day I am faced with something blog-worthy. Its just that, because of all the stuff going on around me, I am just totally confuzzeled. I have entirely too many irons on the fire. It's my own fault for just sitting back and expecting everything to work itself out. So now, I have to scramble and pull it all together, quickly. Unfortunately for my creative mind, I have a serious problem with procrastination. An artistic person with procrastination issues is a disaster and a half. All of that is about to change. I know, more than ever before, what I really want out of my life. There are some things that I have been doing for the last couple of years that have been contradictory to my future plans and goals. Enough. It probably seems like I am just rambling on, but there is a method to the madness. So the bottom line is this: I gotta make some major changes and I have to stop waiting on "the right time". The time may never be perfect, and waiting is only going to make it harder. Unfortunately, my little epiphany has taken my blog as a hostage. For the next week or so (2 weeks tops) I will probably NOT be posting anything new on sistahstar.com Seeing that there aren't that many dedicated readers, I don't think that will be a huge problem. Just say an extra prayer for ya girl and stay tuned. The best is yet to come, I promise...

Nik

A moment of silence...

Just need to ask that anyone who reads this say a special prayer for my girl, Kattie (aka WhiteFace). She is very sick right now and in ICU. I hope she knows that a lot of people care about her and are praying for her healing.

I gambled...and lost.

It came to me today. I was at work looking around and something major occurred to me. 8+ years ago, I gambled my future on the hopes that a big company would, or even could, believe in me like I believed in myself. Today, I realized that, without a doubt, I made a huge mistake. I have been with the same company for over 8 years. When I started, I had some really big dreams. I worked my ass off to show and prove. Every dream they sold me to keep me, I bought. If anyone had told me that after almost 10 years of sacrifice in an attempt to live a dream through a company that I loved I would still be where I am, I would never have believed it. If anyone would have told me that I as my child approaches his 6th year of life on this earth that his own mother would have only taken him to the movies 3 times and to maybe 3 birthday parties because she works every weekend and almost every night, I would have never believed it. But today, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I have no one to blame but myself and no one can do anything about it but me.

And I'm going to do something about it right now. I cant waste another minute. I am 30 years old and I gotta make my next move my best move.

Yea, just felt like sharing

Watch how I do...

Nik

WELL NOW ISN'T THAT JUST WONDERFUL...

I HAVE WRITERS BLOCK.
F*CK.

NIK

Neglect...and other family facts

I am so very sorry to those of you that care, about the fact that I haven't posted anything in almost a week. I was completely overloaded at work this week. On top of that, my family reunion was this weekend. Now work is work, but I must explain what I mean by family reunion. My family is humongous and can easily fill up an entire hotel(we almost did). So when we have a reunion, we have a reunion. My mom is the youngest of 14 survivng children, there were actually 20 in all. These people don't play around. My eldest uncle is 75 years old. That means I have cousins old enough to be my grandfather and cousins too young to feed themselves. I managed to survive the events without incident and without seeing anyone doing or wearing anything that would make them a prime candidate for youknowyoudeadazzwrong.com, the later of the two being the bigger shock.

There were several honarable mentions... and some funny sh*t I thought I should share:

1.my son got annoyed by one of my little cousins, so he politely cocked back and thumped her smack in her eye. Not above it, not below it, square in her eyeball. POW! He got dealt with by his uncle, please believe it, but that ish was funny as hell!

2. my mom danced right on out of her shoes, literally.

3. my brother(who is without a doubt one of the funniest people alive) hugged my mom for a picture and in the process, almost pulled her wig off. I about dropped dead right on the spot. My brother almost laughed up a lung. Mom Dukes was not pleased at all. Thats what a women who has hair down to her bra strap gets for wearing a wig to avoid the beauty salon anyway.

4. we had a "madea" impersonator, nuff said.

5. the aforementioned "madea" chased my uncle around the room with her pistol, like for real.

6. all the kids ran to the dance floor when the d.j. played that d*mn stanky leg song. my son (because he is MY son after all) ran the opposite way. to the stage. cuz he needed to be the featured "stanky legger."

7.we officially broke an elevator in the hotel.

Anyhoo, my life should return to some form of normality in the next couple days after the last of the family heads back home to almost every state in the union. I enjoy very much being with my peeps, we are such an ecclectic bunch. I would have loved to have not beenthere alone. Most of my family is well aware that i'm a big lezzie. No one ever really says anything though. When we have our reunion in, we'll be back down in the A baby, and there is no way in hell my girl wont be with me. Hopefully, I won't be sleeping alone on the regular anymore. We shall see. I will be back soon posting my randomness and frustrations about the world we live in very soon.

Love you guys

Tell a friend

Nik

I LOVE THIS JIGGA RIGHT HERE!

MEET LAFAYETTE REYNOLDS

For those of you that are not aware, I am a die hard TrueBlood fan. More importantly, I love Lafeyette. At the end of season were they left fans wondering if he was dead or alive, I about lost it. As you can see he is still alive and kicking. Besides the fact that he is just a phenomenal character, he makes some valid points that actually not only fit in the show, but that actually apply to real life. Take the above video as a prime example. For those of you not up on TruBlood, you need to join the party. Until then, take a listen to my Boi, Mr. Lafayette Renolds.

Same sh*t, different day

I am supremely annoyed this morning. Don't know why. This morning is no different from any other one. Wake up(alone), eat cereal(alone), get ready for work, blah blah blah. I am so overwhelmed and tired right now. There are about four projects that I'm working on, all of which require my undivided attention. Along with that, my son is home from summer vacation, there is drama in my family, and I still have my responsibilities at work to contend with. Oh yeah, lets not forget the "joys" of being in a long distance relationship. Whew! I love it though. I know that one of these days I'm going to drag myself out of bed and success will be waiting to greet me. Sooooo, hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work I go...

later
Nik

New Series: Locked and Loaded

Random stuff that occurs to me when I've been "overserved." Like now.
_____________________________________________________________________________________

Why is it that I have like, 500 chanels and I only watch 5 of them?
How much food can a skinny five year old boy really consume in one day?
There really is no way to prepare yourself the end of a relationship.
If I could have one super power I would definately be a jumper.
I wonder if George W. Bush feels sorry for any of this mess.
Why do people cheat on each other?
What does Donald Trumps hair really look like

I could go on. I won't.
Nik

In case you missed it the first time...

This week in WTF news.

As reported in the Las Cruses Sun-News
_____________________________________________________________

Two gay men kicked out of Chico's Tacos restaurant for kissing

By Andrew Kreighbaum and Darren Meritz / For the Sun-News

Posted: 07/09/2009 05:02:06 AM MDT

EL PASO -- Two gay men kissed at a Chico's Tacos restaurant, prompting guards to eject them and a police officer to endorse their ouster. Civil-rights lawyers say the security staff was out of line. Police, though, contend that a business such as a restaurant can refuse service to anybody, any time.
In all, five men were ordered to leave the restaurant. They say they were forced out by homophobic guards.
"It was a simple kiss on the lips," said Carlos Diaz de Leon, a gay man who was part of the group.
He called police at 12:30 a.m. June 29 because he said the guards and restaurant had discriminated against the group after two of his friends kissed in public.
The five men, all gay, were placing their order at the Chico's Tacos restaurant on Montwood when the men kissed. All five sat down, but the two guards at the restaurant told them to leave.
De Leon quoted one of the guards as saying he didn't allow "that faggot stuff" in the restaurant.
De Leon said they refused to leave and called police for help. He said an officer arrived about an hour later in response to calls from his group and the guards.
As they waited for police, the guards directed other anti-gay slurs at them, he said.
Already angry at the guards, de Leon and his group became angrier at the two police officers who arrived.
"I went up to the police officer to tell him what was going on, and he didn't want to hear my side," de Leon said. "He wanted to hear the security guard's side first."

Police declined to identify the officers who responded, but department spokesman Javier Sambrano described one officer as relatively inexperienced.
De Leon said the officer told the group it was illegal for two men or two women to kiss in public. The five men, he said, were told they could be cited for homosexual conduct -- a law the U.S. Supreme Court ruled unconstitutional in 2003 in Lawrence v. Texas.
That same year, the El Paso City Council approved an ordinance banning discrimination based on sexual orientation by businesses open to the public.
An assistant manager at Chico's Tacos declined to comment Wednesday, except to say the owners of the restaurant were out of town and could not be reached. An official with All American International Security, the firm contracted by Chico's Tacos to supply guards, said one member of the security crew was contacting a lawyer. He would say no more.
El Paso police Detective Carlos Carrillo said a more appropriate charge for what happened at Chico's Tacos would probably be criminal trespass.
"The security guard received a complaint from some of the customers there," Carrillo said. "Every business has the right to refuse service. They have the right to refuse service to whoever they don't want there. That's their prerogative."
Briana Stone, a lawyer with the Paso del Norte Civil Rights Project, disagreed.
She said the city anti-discrimination ordinance protects people on the basis of gender identity and sexual orientation in public places. Perhaps more troubling, she said, was that the police officer chose not to enforce that ordinance and might have contributed to discrimination.
"This is such a blatant refusal to uphold the law on account of discrimination," she said. "The result is devastating. The Police Department is allowing that and even participating in it by refusing to enforce an anti-discrimination ordinance, which is what their job is."
Lisa Graybill, legal director for the ACLU of Texas, said that businesses can ask patrons to leave for lewd conduct, but that those standards would have to apply to all customers.
"If a straight couple wouldn't have gotten kicked out for it," she said, "a gay couple shouldn't."
The police officers involved did not file a report about the confrontation at Chico's Tacos. Carrillo said no report was made because officers thought the situation was under control and neither side requested a written account of the incident.
De Leon said he and his friends left the restaurant after an officer threatened to issue a citation for "homosexual conduct."
Andrew Kreighbaum may be reached at akreighbaum@elpasotimes.com; 546-6137.
Darren Meritz may be reached at dmeritz@elpasotimes.com; 546-6127.

A little shameless self promotion.

Find me on

Twitter @ sistahstar

Yep, I drank the kool-aid

Nik

"EATN AINT CHEATN" ...LIKE HELL IT AINT!

Where did that fugged up saying even come from? Some straight man, running around on his wife, gets caught and says, "Baby, we didn't have sex, and eatin' aint cheatin'!" Then some sad excuse for a lesbian gets busted cheating on her girl and decides to try and use that stupid sh*t in her defense.

*Blank Effing Stare*

Why would anyone think that would work? I mean seriously. How are you going to fix your mouth (the same mouth doing the alleged "eating", mind you) to say some ol' fugged up mess like that. Dumb muthafuggas get on my damn nerves sometimes. I'm just saying.

*hoping off my soapbox*

Nik

My "gaydar" only works for men. Which used to suck big time when I first came out because I only dated feminine women. Now it sucks because if I'm dating a stud (which is most of the time if I can help it) I never know which chick is feeling my girl. Well, not immediately. Eventually something goes off in my head and the bottles start flying. But I digress. I know people (mostly guys by the way) that can find the family member in a dark black hole (no pun intended). I can't tell unless it is plain and obvious, like flaming. It's so very annoying.

I have often wondered ( and asked) can people tell about me. My straight friends (except for K, she's special) so no. My lesbian friends say no. All my male friends, straight and otherwise, say they had no clue until they were told. So what is about my super femme self that tells anyone that I am gay? Is it just a feeling? There's nothing masculine about me at first glance. Oh and I NEVER, EVER do that extended "look" thing that Gay folks do when they're interested. You know that "let me allow my eyes to lock on yours for just an extra second and smile slightly as I look away," thing. Ok, I have done it, but only once, and I was in Miami so that doesn't count. Anyhoo, I just wanted to put that out here. If anyone has any thoughts on the matter I'd love to hear them. Cuz even though I have no problems being out, I do have a problem being a walking billboard, even if it is just to a few people.

I just had the best meeting with a photographer friend of mine. He was so uplifting and hungry! I love it when people are not jaded by life or success or whatever. I remember when I was just starting out doing makeup. I had little support from my family and was learning everything on my own. I still sometimes feel that way now. There will never come a day when I am not trying to learn something. With or without the support of certain peole, I will continue. In this life, I am continuosly trying to be the best Nikki that I can be. That is something that only I can bring into reality. So no matter how hard others may work to keep me from believing and receiving, I will continue. My talents are just that, gifts from God. I will not waste them. Nor will I allow anyone to tell me that my talents are being wasted because of who I may love. So Im going to keep doing me and if that makes anyone mad, sad, or uncomfortable, well then that's just too damn bad. Don't ya love how I can relate any and everything back to me being gay? I know you do.

10 more random facts about me

1. I am a addicted to my blackberry.

2. I absolutely can not look at a honeycomb. It makes my flesh crawl.

3. I am 5ft 7in and my legs take up about 4 feet of that.

4. As bad as she get on my nerves, if I or anyone I know, needs something to happen, she is the person to call.

5. If I like a book I will re-read it about every six months.

6. My body is covered in scars.

7. My O.C.D. is getting worse, not better, as I get older.

8. Most nights I stay up almost till dawn.

9. God talks to me all day long.

10. One of my biggest pet peeves is people who cut me off when i'm talking.

Just felt like sharing...

Nik

I HATE IT ALL

WHAT THE HELL!!!!

*RUNS AWAY IN FEAR*

I shoulda known.

I sent out a text to about 10 or so "family" friends, male and female, asking them to list the top 5 qualities they look for when they first meet a woman. Now my friends are a mixed up bunch, I know, cuz birds of a feather and all that jazz, however, they are also a group of extremely intelligent and driven women. They are studs, femmes and everything in between. I expected to get some interesting answers and post them on my blog. Interestingly, I got almost the exact same answers from just about everyone I asked. I'm realizing that all of this stuff is becoming like some twisted social experiment whereby I get to see how crazy my friends are and, thus, make myself feel better in the process. Anyhoo. On pretty much everyones list was eyes, style, conversation, and or confidence. Basically, we all pretty much want the same thing. Great! That was my suspicion and my real purpose for asking my friends that question in the first place. Then I asked the same question of my straight friends and, you guessed it, same answers across the board. The point of it all is that we are all looking for pretty much the same things. We may look for it in different packages, but the basic are all the same. We are all more alike than different and, I think, if we just took and extra moment to focus on those similarities as much as we focus on the differences, we' all be better off. (singing)Heal the world...

NIK

*SIDENOTE*
There was ONE person who's answers were just totally different than EVERYBODY else's. My dear sweet ex girlfriend. Lawd, bless her heart. Ok, here come my disclaimer...again. NO ONE IS ABOVE BEING BLOGGED ABOUT. PERIOD. So, her responses were looks, skin color, hair, and ass. Ok first of all, I asked for 5, not four, but I'm gonna let that slide, but ass, skin color, and (inhale) hair! Wutdafukk? (Exhale) So if she see a female from behind that just got her sew in redone and has a fat azz, then she's cool. Hell, this is Memphis, she should have a whole team of dogs like that! Please don't think that I'm bashing my ex. We're friends and have a pretty good relationship. We fight about the kid and that's were it stops. So when her text came through, after all of the ohers had ben so insightful and thoughtful, I just sat there giving my phone the *blank stare*, followed by *blink blink*. Then I burst out laughing. I'm still laughing as I sit here typing. Oh the kids...wut iz we gone do?


Nik

YEAH BABY!

Jun. 17, 2009
Same-Sex Partners To Get Fed Benefits

President Barack Obama, whose gay and lesbian supporters have grown frustrated with his slow movement on their priorities, is extending benefits to same-sex partners of federal employees, a White House official said.

Obama planned to announce his decision Wednesday in the Oval Office, the official said. The official spoke on the condition of anonymity because Obama had not signed a presidential memorandum putting his plan into place.
The decision is a political nod to a reliably Democratic voting bloc that has become impatient with the White House in recent weeks.
Several powerful gay fundraisers withdrew their support from a Democratic National Committee event June 25 where Vice President Joe Biden is expected to speak. Their exit came in response to a Justice Department brief last week that defended the Defense of Marriage Act, a prime target for gay and lesbian criticism.
Gays and lesbians also fretted as the White House declined to intervene in the cases of enlisted military members facing courts-martial for defying the Clinton-era "don't ask, don't tell" policies. Gays and lesbians can serve in the military now if they do not disclose their sexuality or engage in homosexual behavior.
White House officials say they want Congress to repeal the policy as part of a "lasting and durable" solution, instead of intervening on individual cases.
"The president agreed that ... the policy wasn't working for our national interests, that he committed to change that policy, that he's working with the secretary of defense and the joint chiefs on making that happen," White House spokesman Robert Gibbs said last month.
The administration has tried to make small, quiet moves to extend benefits to gays and lesbians. The State Department has promised to give partners of gay and lesbian diplomats many benefits, such as diplomatic passports and language training.
But Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton's promises left out financial benefits such as pensions. Obama's move could make that shift.
Richard Socarides, a New York lawyer and former senior adviser on gay rights issues to President Bill Clinton, was taking a wait-and-see attitude on Obama's announcement.
"If it doesn't include health insurance, if he doesn't talk about the military and about the (Justice Department) brief, I think it will fall short," Socarides said in an e-mail late Tuesday. "Right now, people are looking for real action."

John Berry, head of the Office of Personnel Management and the highest-ranking gay official in the administration, told a gay rally last weekend that Obama planned to take action on benefits soon.

I CANT JUST SIT BACK...

Yesterday a well known lesbian couple around town their annual pool party. When I tell you these two are living nice, I mean just that. Their home is absolutely beautiful. Blessed, that's all I can say.

Anyways, I didn't got to the actual pool party because I had to work the plantation,of course. I did, however, go to the afterparty last night. What I MUST discuss is the fact that after the pool several of the party goers opted NOT to go home and wash they asses. They decided against putting on actual party clothes and came straight to the club in their swimwear.

HUH? Yeah. I know.

Now, I am not saying that everyone looked a fool. There were some pretty swim covers that looked like nice sundresses and such. That made a little more sense. However, I just didn't get the logic behind being at an actual club; a bar and grill, in a 2 piece bikini and and a fishnet cover. The only saving grace for me was the fact that the "young ladies" were not throwed off completely, due to the fact that all of their quick weaves and lace fronts were still in "perfect" condition. Cuz clearly, these chica's were not at the pool party to get wet. Oh no maam, you do not spend the amount of time in da booty shop that some of them obviously did, just to go to a swim party and, gasp, swim! Ohhh lawd, I...just...cant.

And the other thing. The after party was at this spot called 2 FOR 1 Bar and Grill. Its a straight spot that was basically rented out for the party. However, some of the straight regulars did not get the memo. So there where a few hetero couples sprinkled here and there. Looking at everybody like WUT IN THE SWEETBOOTY HELL???!!! Then, of course, there just HAD TO BE A DAMN SHOW. Cuz you now "we" just can't party and enjoy music and dance, "we" GOTS to watch people do bad Karaoke and lip sync to their favorite song. Oh yeah, and did I mention the guys that were trying to get their Soldier Boy on? Yep. They had created a song with a correspondng dance routine to go with it. Mid party, the music stops, and these dudes get on stage and announce that they have a new dance that we needed to learn. Yep. Sure did. I love it here.

Nik

I really needed this.

After sitting through yet another display of black women's ass being portrayed as the only meaningful part of their body ( i'm watching MTV Jams) in Drake's new video, I thought I had better feed my soul with something worthwhile. Quickly. For those of you not up on her, this is Hanifah Walidah. She...is... the Truth. She is not a conventional beauty or a conventional artist, but she is hot to death. Celibrate something different, and better. Listen to the lyrics, don't just check out the track. Definately GOole-worthy. Enjoy...

Nik

I have found some really interesting stuff over at BET.com, lately. Which is very interesting since that massive show of public buffonery and cooning they called the BET awards forced me to ban all of their niggotry from my home. Since I forgot to end my email subscriptions with them, these little pearls popped up on my Blackberry. I may continue allowing them based soley on the strength of the things I saw on their site today. But I am going to change my update settings. Since I find it highly unlikely that they will be overloading their site with meaningful information,and since I have no interest in the futher exploits of Tiny and Toya, or Drake and Lil Wayne, and since Queen Yance' (Beyonce) is on EVERY CHANNEL ON THE PLANET, well you get my point. I just don't need BET buzzing my blackberry every five minutes. However, here's what I found blogworthy:
_____________________________________________________________________________________
For most people, their only exposure to the gay lifestyle is through the media or word of mouth. Unfortunately, this is how many rumors and stereotypes are spread. Check out some common misconceptions about gays and lesbians.


Being gay is just a phase. Thousands of gay men have sought therapy, "reverse gay counseling" and even heterosexual relationships to suppress their homosexual feelings.


Lesbian women recruit others into their lifestyle. This is not the military. There are plenty lesbians in the world already, so recruitment is not necessary.

.
All gay men will die of AIDS.


All lesbians hate men. Granted, even some straight women are sick of men, but this attitude is not a characteristic of all lesbians.


Gay men are all about sex. Here’s a news flash: Gay men are no more sexually active than heterosexuals.

.
All lesbians with short haircuts are masculine.


All gay men are feminine. The belief that all gay men desire to be women or are feminine is merely a generalization. The gay community is just as diverse as any other group.


Sex between two women is risk-free. Sexually transmitted infections can be passed between partners of any gender. It is therefore important to practice safe sex with whomever you sleep.


Someone made him gay. Studies have shown that being gay is not directly related to one's environment. Many mothers say they regret having been too close to their sons, believing that is what "made" them gay. The truth is, their relationship with their son had little or nothing at all to do with his sexual orientation. Research continues to explore the source of homosexuality, but blaming oneself or environment is not the answer. Besides, being gay is not a disease.


If a friend tells you that he/she is gay or lesbian, then she/he is coming on to you. Did you ever think that your friend just might want you to get to know him/her as a whole person?


Gays and lesbians are promiscuous. They are no more or less promiscuous than heterosexuals. Just like heterosexuals, gays and lesbians can have monogamous relationships, be celibate or have multiple partners.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
This is just a snippet of the ignorance I have encountered in my Lesbian walk. It amazes me still, how people can associate things that have absolutely no relation to one another. I must say how impressed with BET I am for posting this. It does NOT, however, redeem them even 1/10 of a point. Anyways, think about it people.
later
NIK

This may be a little heavy for ya'll,but it's so true.

Found at BET.com


"Black people are equal now, and gay people aren't," Emil Wilbekin, a black gay man and editor of Giant magazine, told the Associated Press recently.


Keith Boykin If only it were that simple. But it's not. Black people still aren't equal and neither are gays. It doesn't help the gay rights cause to exaggerate the success of the black struggle or to diminish the success of the LGBT movement.

But in the weeks since Proposition 8 passed in California, much of the conversation that has taken place has moved from the simplistic to the ridiculous, including the argument blaming the small minority of blacks in the state for killing gay marriage. Fortunately, two of the smartest responses have come from African American columnists Clarence Page and Charles Blow.

What Went Wrong In California?

Page responds to an article in the Dec. 16 issue of The Advocate, a gay magazine, that boldly declares: "Gay is the New Black." Not quite, says Page. Instead, "gay is the new gray," he argues.

As a columnist for the Chicago Tribune, Page supports same-sex marriage, but he's not too impressed about the comparisons that some gay rights advocates have made between the LGBT struggle and the fight for racial equality.

Gay rights leaders are "tragically correct," he says, to point out the hate crimes perpetrated against lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people. "But the history and nature" of the two struggles "is so different as to serve to alienate potential allies instead of winning them over," he writes.

New York Times columnist Charles Blow is equally helpful in his recent opinion piece about same-sex marriage. Noting the significantly higher number of black women than black men who voted in California, Blow argues against the strategy of using interracial marriage as a point of similarity to gay marriage in trying to win over black women.

"Marriage can be a sore subject for black women in general," he writes. Citing 2007 Census Bureau data, Blow says "black women are the least likely of all women to be married and the most likely to be divorced. Women who can't find a man to marry might not be thrilled about the idea of men marrying each other."

I disagree with Blow's analysis about black women in relation to men on the down low, but he is exactly right about comparing interracial marriage to same-sex marriage. That's a non-starter for many black women and not an effective argument to win them over.


Are Blacks More Homophobic?


Whenever we talk about race, it's important to remember that the black community is not monolithic and sometimes paradoxical. Although blacks tend to be socially conservative, we are also politically progressive.

Despite black opposition to same-sex marriage, when you look at other LGBT issues (that don't concern marriage, sex or relationships), blacks are as likely -- and in some cases more likely -- to support pro-gay policies than whites are. Polls on employment discrimination, gays in the military, gay housing discrimination, and even the gay adoption ban passed in Arkansas last month indicate that blacks have actually been more supportive of gay rights than whites on these issues.

And blacks have repeatedly elected and re-elected gay supportive politicians. It's not just the black mayors across the country, but also the members of the Congressional Black Caucus, who form the most supportive demographic voting bloc for gay rights issues in the Congress, except for the gay caucus itself. And that's not to mention the nation's only two black governors, both of whom support same-sex marriage.

The issue is not whether blacks are homophobic or not. Of course we are. We all live in the same racist, sexist, classist, misogynist, homophobic, heterosexist, culturally imperialistic society. Everyone is affected by those prejudices at some level. The question, though, is whether blacks are more homophobic than others, and that depends, of course, on how you measure homophobia.

On the personal level for many black gays and lesbians, the black community certainly feels more homophobic for those who face the slings and arrows of insult from their friends, family, church members and co-workers. But on a political level, it's hard to prove that blacks are any more homophobic than whites.


Even back in the 1990s, when I wrote my first book, polls showed blacks were more supportive than whites of outlawing employment discrimination against gays, but blacks were still far less supportive of same-sex marriage than whites. How do you explain that?

A New Strategy For Same-Sex Marriage Supporters


Many critics of black homophobia fail to grasp the difference between the politically progressive and the socially conservative streaks in the African American community. To communicate effectively to blacks, you need to know how to frame these issues.

If you can figure out how to frame the gay question as a political issue for basic rights instead of a social issue about acceptance, then blacks are much more likely to support it. That's a hard sell for same-sex marriage because many blacks see marriage as a religious structure, not a civil institution. But it creates opportunities to learn effective messaging.

It's important to remember the messenger is just as important as the message. Straight black people are not likely to sympathize with white people preaching to them about the evils of gay discrimination. That's a message that can most effectively be delivered by other blacks, straight and gay. Until the white LGBT movement learns this obvious point and implements strategies to include many more LGBT people of color in positions of visibility and responsibility, they are doomed to repeat the same tragic mistakes of their past failures.

It's also not helpful for gays to equate one movement with another. The civil rights movement is not the same as the gay rights movement, racism is not the same as homophobia and blacks are not the same as gays.


Although there are similarities between the two movements, there are also major differences. But why do gay activists feel the need to prove the struggles are the same in the first place?

America doesn't ask women, Jews, people with disabilities or immigrants to prove that their discrimination is identical to black suffering, and yet no one denies that sexism, anti-Semitism, ablism and xenophobia exist in our society. So why should gays and lesbians need to prove that their suffering is identical to black suffering in order to be treated equally under the law? That doesn't make much sense, but we're not talking logic here; we're talking prejudice.

Gay activists are also deceiving themselves if they think they can change public opinion simply by proving that homosexuality is not a choice. Blackness is not a choice either, and that hasn't stopped prejudice against African Americans.

Sure, we can easily blame black homophobia on religion, but it's not that simple either. The black church is a paradox. It is the most homophobic institution in the black community and at the same time the most homo-tolerant. Just scan the gay members of the choir the next time the pastor wanders off into one of his fire and brimstone sermons about homosexuality and you'll understand. We have a "don't ask, don't tell" policy about homosexuality in the church.

We have the same policy in parts of the black community. That's why we often downplay the LGBT identities of many of our black heroes and sheroes. And yet who could imagine black culture without James Baldwin, Lorraine Hansberry, Alvin Ailey, Angela Davis, Billy Strayhorn, Barbara Jordan or the Rev. James Cleveland?

Yes you can argue until you're blue in the face that not all blacks are straight and not all gays are white. Yes you can prove that homosexuality is not a "white thing" invented by Europeans and you can show that it existed in pre-colonial Africa. Yes you can refute the simplistic argument that "gays did not have to sit at the back of the bus as blacks did" by simply pointing to black gays and lesbians who endured segregation with their straight counterparts. And yes you can remind people that Dr. Martin Luther King's closest political adviser, Bayard Rustin, was a black gay man, and he helped to organize the 1955-56 Montgomery bus boycott.

Some people will get it; some won't. But why should you have to prove all of this simply to win the "right" to be treated equally? Who cares if gay is the new black? In the end, it doesn't and shouldn't matter.

It doesn't matter which group was first oppressed, or which is most oppressed, or whether they are identically oppressed. What matters is that no group of people should be oppressed. As long as various groups continue to focus on the hierarchy of oppression, they will validate the hierarchy and minimize the oppression

Profound...

Some things to think about...

"When we are as angered by the rape and murder of 7 year old Sherrice Iverson, as we are about the murder of Matthew Shepard, we will come together.

"When we are as outraged by the history of this country as we are about the Texas slaying of James Byrd, Jr., we will begin to strategize.

"When we are as intolerant of the deportation of Mexicans from California, their ancestral homeland, as we are about being gay-bashed, we will move forward.

"When we understand that the boss who rapes his employee and the guard who rapes the prisoner and the police officer who rapes the sex-worker, all rape for the same reasons, we will strengthen.

"When we recognize that the people who created the myth of the black male rapist, 130 years ago, are the same people who created today's myth of "criminal" youth, we will no longer be controlled.

"And when we believe that fighting for the human rights of everyone is in our own self-interest, we will begin to create a just society free from hate violence of any kind."

-excerpted from Anne King's speech for San Francisco Women Against Rape, 10/17/98

Sissy Nobe!!!!

I LOVE LOVE LOVE Sissy Nobe!!!!!

Nik

I will not...

*Blank Stare*

Nik
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