Whats the deal with Lezzies adn threesomes? YUK and HELL NO

For some reason or another, all of my younger Lesbian friends always want to come to me for advice. I find that quit hilarious, considering how good I am at NOT keeping a girlfriend. However, they seem to think I have all the answers because I've been there, done that. I disagree, but if they ask, i'm telling. One recurring theme that I get hit with by the babies (that's what I call all of them).

THREESOMES


*sigh*



I don't get it. I just do NOT get it.  Look, I like sex just as much as the next person. But I'm a relationship girl. And you're telling me I'm supposed to be 100 with having another bitch touching, kissing, and *gasp* f*cking MY girlfriend...while I watch (or partake, or however that sh*t goes).  I'm supposed to enjoy this sh*t? Because I'm a  lesbian? You're telling me I'm NOT supposed to rip this hoe's throat out? I'm NOT supposed to close your eye permanently for even suggesting such a thing? Because I'm a lesbian... Really. Uh, hell no.
Now this is not to say that I haven't done it before. But it was outside of the context of a relationship. My babies always call and ask about having one with their girlfriend dujour (that's girlfriend of the moment for you, uh, yeah). This tells me a couple of things. 1: I am in the minority as a relationship lesbian, and 2: these b*tches out here got the game ALL WRONG.


Once upon a time I offered to "get" a certain girl for my girlfriend at the time as a gift to her for throwing me such an awesome birthday party. Mind you, I was also so drunk at said party that I was asleep before they cut MY birthday cake. That tells you the state of f*cked-up-ness one must be in to get that ish past me. Needless to say, it didn't happen.


Anywhoo, I really wanna know what the thrill is. In straight relationships a threesome is like the big unspoken fantasy of the boyfriend. Its the elephant in the room. You know he's thinking it, You KNOW he wants it. You also know that, in most cases, he has more sense than to even bring it up. But with lesbians its like a given, almost expected. Whenever the issue comes up with the babies I give the truth according to Star and it goes a little something like this:
DON'T DO  IT (especially if you plan on having any type of long term relationship with this girl)
DON'T DO IT (especially if she's a femme and offered it, cuz chances are she's offered it up plenty of times before
DON'T DO IT (especially if your her first, cuz her and the third party are gonna be boning on your down time)
But since you're gonna do it any way, remember this. 
BE SAFE BE SAFE BE SAFE (that's always rule number one)
DO NOT LET IT GO DOWN AT YOU HOME (cuz you will never look at you comfy bed the same again)
and most importantly
BE THE GUEST STAR ( let that one marinate for a minute, it'll come to ya)


Hope that helps someone out there, Cuz i think my babies are just too far gone for salvation. Oh well.




*Star*

The great State of Tennessee and DADT/WTF NEWS

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2010/11/judge-lesbians-military-turn-straight/

This assclown basically belives that gay men should not be allowed in the military, but Lesbians should. That way the good upstanding straight G.I.'s will not be forced to put up with their gay counterparts, but will be given the opportunity to "straighten out" the lesbians. Click the link to find out how he thinks they should go about achieving that momentous feat. 
I absolutely can not.

I Do Not Date...

Here's another oldie but goodie that I wrote a LONG time ago and never published. Just thought I'd share.
I originally wrot ethis around April of this year.
This is some good info people. Pay attention.
____________________________________________________

 Lesbians are serial daters... I am not. I am a relationship girl. Lezzies tend to see a chick, bone a chick, move in with or move on to the next chick. That mess baffles me. I think that's one of the things that alienates a lot of straight people from us. Even those that are "sympathetic" to our plight. How fast we switch (or add in some cases) partners. How many times have you seen your friend (associate or whatever) at the club with someone one week, then two weeks later, you see them again with someone totally new? Then you ask them, " hey, what happened to so and so?"
Wait two weeks, and repeat.
Its so silly and, more importantly, its dangerous. Casual hookups in a community that doesn't have a a large number of people perpetuates not only a lot of fighting and bullsh*t, but a lot of other stuff you cant get rid of...
We want to be respected and all that then we need to stop acting like the only time were human is when someone straight uses a slur against us. Nobody gets over love in a month/week/day.Stop fronting. Especially you studs.

Short sweet and to the damn point.
*Star*