This woman...this song... whoo chyle, its too early in the morning for all-a-dist. Cuz it is definitely killing me.
*Star*

Natural Hair=Lesbian?

My hair has been natural for about 6 years now. I tried to do the whole, "let the perm grow out but don't cut it all off" thing. That didn't work for me. So one hot summer day, I took my son to the barber shop and hopped right in the chair after he was done. My barber asked how low I wanted to go. It took me all of half a second to say, "bald, I want it gone."  Now mind you, I had a mountain of shoulder length hair on my head. It was a severely  neglected, curly mess. He cut it down to something like one inch without the guards. It was  awesome. You couldn't tell me I wasn't fine. 
About 3 days later, I go to pick up my moms for a funeral. As I'm walking up the stairs I say, "momma, I'm bald, don't freak out." She took one look at me and screamed, then she cried. Then she took a deep enough breath to call me a "bull-dagger." Yeah, I know.



Look-a-here Negroes: I have TONS of friends with natural hairstyles. From Afros to locks to everything in between.All of them are not gay. Most of the new people I have met on my natural hair journey, are not gay. However, it seems like every time i'm in earshot of straight black women and a short/natural haired sister approaches, she is either given "the look" or the mumbling begins.


Women of color, in particular, have always been told that their hair is their crowning glory. My mother is a HUGE believer in this bull. A pretty black woman, with pretty straight(read; Caucasian) hair will have no problem catching a great husband ad having a great life. Because you know, the main prize is a husband, right? So for a women to reject that belief system means she's a dyke. And not just a dyke, but a nappy-headed one at that. 


Hair does not a lesbian make. A chick like me gets hot sometimes and just cuts it all off again. I don't become anymore gay every time I do a big chop, do I? Clearly not. But in the Black community, even with as many straight, and happily married women with natural hairstyles Black folks are still giving the side eye to close cropped sisters. Cuz they think we all wanna get they booty... Please believe this is NOT at all the case. There are some black women who just want to have the option to just get up and go, without being a slave to that creme-o-crack (relaxer). 


Stop being so stereotypical and judgmental, and stupid people. 


Hope this helps...I doubt that it will..


Aiight then,

*Star*
P.S. I had some really cool pics for this post but they wont link so oh well....

Today I Exhaled

I have been arguing with IMEEM for about a half hour trying to make a player for my blog and it just aint working. Now I'm locked and loaded and sick of listening to this sad ish.


Here's what I had on NON-STOP repeat today:


1.Gravity, John Mayer
2.No one in the World, Anita Baker
3.Stronger, Mary J.
4.Part of the List, Ne-yo
5.Why Does She Stay, Ne-yo
6.Fall, J. Holiday
7.Superhuman, Knock em'Down Brown and Skeri Hilson
8.I'm Gonna Find Another You, John Mayer
9.Epiphany, Chrisette Michelle
10.Been So Long, Anita Baker
This mess is enough to make you slit your damn wrists... Enough.


Then I got the call from that good 801 area code. Please believe I changed up my playlist with the quickness! First I turned off all the music and thanked God for the way he is moving in my life. Funny how one door abruptly slams in your face, then so many others open up.
Anyhoo...
I also cleaned my severely neglected house, submitted an article to I-Bleed-Ink.com  and spent some much need quality time doing ME. All in all, I think today was a good day. 


That's all.
*Star*
Oh yeah, much love and hugs to the captain for once again saying the simplest thing and making it all better. 

Confuzzled.....

Just saw this commercial and I REALLY need someone to explain this to me....


Is this supposed to be like soft porn for women or men? Cuz it looks like soft Gay porn to me. Which is totally fine if that's the case. But PLEASE tell me these dudes don't think that regular old straight white women are the ones buying this dvd.

I'm just saying.


*Star*

There's a billion of us...right?

I get a lot of ideas from the most random places. But I think that's a good thing because it helps me " think outside the box." Lately I have been searching the net (again) for other LGBT blogs by people of color that are actually ABOUT LGBT people of color. When I first decided what I wanted my site to be, I did sort of a generic search on the topic and didn't find too much worth mentioning. I thought this was pretty odd since  there are billions of  blogs out there. There's a blog for every subject imaginable, by every type of writer and with supporters from every walk of life. Even with that, finding other blogs of substance black black lesbians has been more difficult than finding an unhappy man in dark room with Karrin "Superhead" Stephens. 

Eventually I came across a really good one : abrowngirl.com. (check her out) is the best, really the only one worth mentioning that I have found so far. There's a good number of celebrity blogs like blackgaygossip.com, and politicos like keithboykin.com , but those were not really the categories I was searching for. Why is that though? We are EVERYWHERE. We are writers, artists of every kind, and live very diverse and interesting lives. Why are we so under represented in the blogging community? Its not like the typical Hollywood story of "well THEY don't want but a few of us on the television/small screen". Blogger, Wordpress, and a host of other blog sites are scott free. No one else has any control over who gets to have a Blogspot. Even a HUGELY successful one is at the mercy of the owner. So where are we hiding and why? 


As usual, I was just curious...


*Star*

Have we met before?

As I sat here going back over some of my older posts on the blog, I realized something VERY important. In the past few weeks, I have gotten soooooo very far away from what I set out for sistahstar.com to be.  In the midst of my love sick stupor all I have been blogging about is my personal turmoil with my ex. While I do realize that this is MY blog and I can say whatever the hell I want, that's NOT what this is supposed to be about. 


So with that said: ALLOW ME TO REINTRODUCE MYSELF!!!!!!

MY NAME IS STAR B*TCHES. An the immortal words of another bad Nicki: "IMMA BAD B*TCH,, IMMA, IMMA BAD B*TCH


What I need and what I want are two different things. I may not have a particular person that I want, but I damn sure have the only person that matters, ME!  To make matters worse is the fact that I have let all manner of rainbow colored foolishness slip by me. And that is just unacceptable.


So tonight, as I stated on my twitter (twitter.com/sistahstar and twitter.com/starstarbaby) I am being forced to partake in some "family" matters. I will be hanging out (yes, outside of my house) with some of rainbow crew. There's a welcome home set and a house party. There will be foolishness GALORE. I can't wait! I will be reporting back to you guys ASAP! Pray that I dont get caught snapping pics of the hot messes and ass clowns that I am sure encounter this evening. 


In a minute
*Star*
Im back up in this thang, tricks...

You aint fooling me...

I am absolutely convinced that Wendy Williams is on some Caster Semenaya ish. Like she's not totally a man but not totally a woman either. The difference is she knows it. There is no way in the world Wendy Williams looks at herself in the mirror and sees femininity. AIN'T NO WAY. Not just because she's humongous, but she's so harsh. everything about her screams bad drag to me. I'm a makeup artist, so trust, I know bad drag. That hair hat, that voice, those mannerisms. Its all just so...much. Its like someone puts her together with a few pieces of a leftover women and a LOT of pieces of leftover men. Its just too weird for me.I don't think I'm alone in this thought process am I?
Just Wondering.
*Star*

As ya'll can see I have clearly jacked up my layout. My beloved sister is finally finishing up my logo ( so she says) and background. Until then I am going to just play around with some more random layouts. Bear with me guys.
Oh, yeah, and thanks for all the support while I was pouring my damn heart out.
Now, back to our regularly scheduled program. I have a new camera people so if you out there acting a rainbow fool, know that you have been warned.
You will get told.
Thanks
*Star*

Entirely too personal, but very neccessary

I'm sitting up watching one of my favorite movies of all times, Sex and the City, and some things jumped out at me. Well, it kind of smacked me in the face like a baseball bat. 

1. When Samantha is talking about the direction her relationship with Smith was heading she says," he stayed with me through my treatments." Carrie appropriately responds, "Sweetie, you just compared your relationship...to chemo..." 
2. When Carrie goes to get her absolutely beautiful, never worn pair of Manolo Blahniks (that I would trade my mother for, by the way), she opens the closet door and sees Big standing there. They pause, look at each other, then she runs into his arms. The rest is history. 


Those two events brought up some really heavy relationship stuff for me. As does everything these days. Whatever..

In case you didn't know, my relationship before this one ended in a very ugly, very bloody mess. I ended up in the trauma center fighting for my life. That's all I'm saying about that. I have mentioned before that I have my own personal army. The captain of that army is my homegirl. The General is my girlfriend. 

Sidenote: I am not accustomed to calling her anything other than my girlfriend so deal with it. Don't judge me.

Anyways...  She put me through a lot. Not the typical relationship stuff. Just emotional rollercoaster type-a-shit that I am wondering now would I have put up with if she where not "The General." This is the  person that did not leave my side for days during my ordeal. I saw her more than my mother. Seriously. In my morphine induced haze I feel deeper and deeper in love with this woman and way faster than normal. Given the circumstances that's understandable though, right?


Anyhoo, when I heard that (#1) in the movie it made me really think of what I was holding on to. 

Then the next thing (#2) brought up this other issue. Me and baby are already in, wait... shit, WHERE IN (ugh!) a long distance relationship. The longest we'd been apart were these last few months. That's when all the ups and downs got really, REALLY bad. Yeah. So when Carrie sees Big for the first time after what he put her through, she stops, looks, and finally runs into his arms. They are, once again, inseparable. But for good this time. So I'm wondering: What's it going to be like when I finally see her again? 

Now, I know I be on some ol' Nicki Minaj " ima bad b*tch, ima, ima bad b*tch" ish,(cuz i am, after all, a bad b*tch), but I am also a hopeless romantic and a believer in soul mates and love and all that stuff. So it could go a couple of different ways...

Who knows. Maybe when we do see one another again, it will be all good. Maybe not. But I don't like surprises and I'm a deep thinker sooooo. 

I was just wondering. 

Thats all.

*Star*

Eye See Now

I try not too get too personal on my little blog. From time to time I may talk about the Drama and my Momma. My son is freaking hilarious (and I am a super proud mom), so I think the world should know about that. I never really go too deep in detail about my relationships. Other than a vague mention here and there (well, except that one time) I have always tried to keep that to myself, for a couple of reasons. Right now, unfortunately, I find myself without a way to express what I am feeling other than to post about it here. Well, bitches, its my blog, I paid for it so here goes.

Love is the most ridiculous thing. Its up there with marriage and religion. Just plain crazy as hell. Out of the three, though, love is the one thing that we mere mortals have no control over. Now you may not practice any religion or ever get married. Those things, for the most part, are choices. There's no way to control with whom or when or how hard you fall in love. So I am going to put it out there that I am in love with someone that I can't be with. I can't see her, I can't touch her, talk to her, almost can't stand the thought of her... yet and still I love her with all my heart.

And there's not a damn thing I can do about it.
And it hurts like hell.

I want so badly to be able to scream and curse and all of those things that you do when you're mad, but I can't. The trouble is, I'm not mad at all. Hurt. Devastated. Defeated. Those words apply . Mad, does not.

I said in a prior post that I am not a gambler. This situation has made me realize that, that's not entirely accurate. I gamble often and I bet BIG. Forever is a long time and Never say Never. Time heals all wounds and this too, shall pass. Yeah insert your favorite cliche here: 

Whatever. All I know this: All I know is this. I love that damn girl. Always will. All I can do is move forward, but its gonna be a long time before I move on.

Yep, I hear you loud and clear...

*Star*

Locked and Loaded

Ya'll Knew One of These Was Coming Right?
Ok here we go...

My ex-husband is about as dumb as a bag of hair.

My homegirl Peaches can whoop all my other friends asses, including the dudes.

I can not wait to get these two biz deals off the ground!

I love makeup, but I never wear any outside of work.

It appears as if I was mistaken about something VERY important.

It aint were you from, it's where you at. My mind is in the Bay, my heart is in the bottom of the ocean.

If I saw Rush Limbaugh in the street, I would punch him in his fat, bloated, bullshit filled belly.

Conservative black people give me nightmares.

Everytime I see Drake on t.v. I get nervous.

Right now, I am starving.


I could care less if Nicki Minaj's/Amber Rose/Kim Kardashian butt is real. Angela Lola Love, on the other hand, should return her ass as soon as possible.Beacause she CLEARLY got a defective model.

                                                                    

NO BEUNO

Thats all...
*STAR*

My take on Lesbian Zodiac Signs...

Im going to try and do this from just My memory and in order. Don't shoot me if I mess it up.

Aries: Sensitive and Stubborn, but fiercely Loyal. Very sexual. If you get one to actulluy fall in love with you AND be faithful to you. You are officially the bomb.com

Taurus: Similar to Aries. BEYOND stubborn.Fighters, not quite as sexual, but lots of fun.

Gemini: Two sided, but not necessarily two faced. Just watch your back and pick your battles wisely. You're only one person, but you're fighting two.

Cancer: Super sensitive, Super loyal, very determined

Leo: Ummm, no thanks

Virgo: *Clears throat* RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!

Libra: Cool

Scorpio: Cool

Sagitarius: Together and driven. Family oriented. Lots of fun. Great in bed/on the island in the kitchen/in the car...

Capricorn: I've never met one that was ever wrong about anything...in their own heads.

Aquarius: Cool, most of the time. (but that could be said about anyone)

Pisces: Without a doubt the most unbelieveably amazing lovers. Without a doubt, the least compassionate people.

*Star*

Traffic Sucks...

Relationships are an interesting thing. You're supposed to meet someone, fall in love, give them all of you and recieve all of them. Flaws and all. If you encounter a flaw that is a bit more than you can bare, you're supposed to address it, deal with it, understand that its going to come up every now and then, and work on it together. I mean, this is someone you love right. Of course you'd much rather be with the person and address the difficult stuff, than to a. continue doing the things that hurt them and watch the person your claim to love (and whom you know love you more than air) cry themselves to sleep at night or b. just lose the person you love all together...right?  Crack may be a helluva drug, but it has nothing on Pride. The only real difference is that while crack heads are an obvious lonley mess, prideful people look like they're good when they are alone on the inside and, nine times out of ten, alone at night or filling their love's space with a bed warmer. My homegirl, gave up everything for her love. This fool turned around and ignored her and left her out in the cold. After days of calls/texts/emails etc, my homegirl let go and let God. Now Miss Love is blowing up her phone, because she has realized that 1. pride doesn't keep you warm at night and 2.once a good girls gone bad, well, you know how that goes.

 I've been honestly in love twice in my life. It was beautiful and life changing both times. The first time I was really young and unprepared for what that meant. The 2nd time, I went all in, but I took the dive all alone. I have NEVER EATEN HUMBLE PIE IN MY LIFE. EVER. However, in that last relationship, I was open, honest, and ready. Being prepared to make mistakes made me better equipped to apologize when I made them. All this came from knowing what I wanted and thinking I knew what she wanted. But alas....

Love is a two way street. That street is full of speed bumps, road blocks, stops signs and potholes. There's no way to avoid them all. The tricky part is knowing what to do when you hit one of those road hazards. Know what you want before you travel that road is like having really good car insurance. That way, if you hit one of those super deep hood potholes, you have enough real love stored up to help each other get back to where you need to be and keep it moving. If its real, and if the other person means meant anything to you.

So the moral of the story is. Those who have that good love insurance, proceed those who don't...blog.

*Shooting Star*

Maybe one day. Oh well, back to the drawing board...

I'm gonna do better...

Sorry I havent posted in a while. When you have a blog that is basically just a journal of your own thoughts, sometimes it gets hard to focus on just ONE topic to post. Add to that, the fact that i'm tweeting my a*s off most of the time and you get one very neglected blog. So, here is my solemn promise(again) to post more often. Heck, I may even change my layout Yeah right.
Ok that is all. For now.
Back to homework and Twitter...
*Star*

And I betcha didn't know that, ebony eyes...

Cant sleep. Feel like sharing...

My son changed my life.

I officially love Twitter.

I have ZERO patience, and I pray about that one ALOT.

I first thought I was gay when I was in the 6th grade. It scared the sh*t out of me.

Religion gets on my reserve nerve.

If there was an Olympic event for marriages, my mom would be standing on the podium right below Elizabeth Taylor.

My girlfriend has one of the most complicated personalitoes I have ever encountered on my entire life.

The Game is, in my opinion, is one of the best scripted television shows ever.

If I don't get back to California soon, i'm going to have myself committed.

Two days ago I found out that the party I went to this weekend was hosted by the girl who effed up my taxes. I was not pleased.

I hate hospitals, ghetto sh*t, bad ass kids, and stereotypes. (i'm pretty sure ya'll knew that one)

Thats all
*Star*

So this is a good look, huh.

Found @ youknowyoudeadazzwrong.com

See, this the ish that I be talking about....
Ladies, (and I use the term loosely) please find the nearest wall and slam your heads into it as hard as you can.
Thanks
*Star*

I Quit All -ah-ya'll!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Found @ missjia.com


*clears throat*
(and let me do this in a language you can understand, aka loud and ghetto)
ATTN, MISS STUD: IF YO DUMBAZZ AINT GONE TAWK IN AT LEAST SOMETHANG THAT RESEMBLES ENGLISH PULEEEZE STAY DA HELL WAY FROM IN FRONT OF DA DAYUM CAMARA!!!!!!!!!! I HATE YOU, I HATE IT ALL, YOU FAIL AT LIFE AND NOW, CUZ U DECIDES TO HOP YO AZZ IN FRONT OF THE CAMARA, THE WHOLE WORLD KNOWS U FAIL AT LIFE. DIDNT U FIND IT THE LEAST BUT STRANGE THAT THEY KEPT YO AZZ OUTTA OF THE SHOT THAT LONG. YOU ARE AN EMBARRASSMENT!!!!!

AGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

You look a mess

Last night I went out with a few friends.Nothing major, just a few drinks and such. Of course, this was gay night at the spot, so the requisite " show" was on deck. Now usually, when I go out to the gay clubs, there's alot of hot ass mess and some hot drag shows that keep me entertained throught the night. However, this is was wack-er than usual. I did get a good pic of someone in a royal blue Polo (esque) shirt and matching royal blue fitted cap (cocked to the side, o less), but that wasnt the funny part. This lovely blue ensemble was topped off with a pair of white linen pants and white loafers.  (horrible pic up next, sorry)

I just do not understand...

Other than that we had a good time. I also got a really good pic of these two studs grinding on each other, which is always REALLY funny to me (don't judge me). I think I'll keep that one to myself though. Well. enjoy this one guys, and trust there will be more pics like this one. This is Memphis after all...

SEE, YA'LL PLAY TO D*MN MUCH!

WHAT IN THE SWEETBOOTY HELL?!!!

*DEAD*
*RISE ON THE 3RD DAY*
*LOOK AT THIS PICTURE*
*DROP DEAD AGAIN*

Too many irons on the fire.

I have a gazillion projects going on. Not to mention, I started working out again. The exercise helps though, since it makes me get on some type of schedule. My diet is THEBOMB.COM! I absolutely do NOT eat meat and haven't had chicken in forever. So I eat a LOT of fish and other seafood. This is great for a couple of reasons. First, because I don't drink nearly enough water, and secondly, its making my hair and nails look super good! Chicken is becoming an issue because I work retail and that's the only thing readily available so I may have to add that back in. The point is this: I have so many things going on right now and I was starting to get overwhelmed and a little bit down about it all. I need to be working on my book, I'm finishing school, i'm stuck in no mans land Memphis, and I'm tired all the time. But in the last week, I feel like I found a light at the end of the tunnel. So even though I am sore as can be from working out, I don't really mind it. I have a great lady who love, love, loves me, great friends, and I'm blessed. (Cue the violins)
So right now, this Star is feeling good and shining bright.
Just felt like sharing...

NOW BACK TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAM!

*STAR*

Fuel on the Fire