Entirely too personal, but very neccessary

I'm sitting up watching one of my favorite movies of all times, Sex and the City, and some things jumped out at me. Well, it kind of smacked me in the face like a baseball bat. 

1. When Samantha is talking about the direction her relationship with Smith was heading she says," he stayed with me through my treatments." Carrie appropriately responds, "Sweetie, you just compared your relationship...to chemo..." 
2. When Carrie goes to get her absolutely beautiful, never worn pair of Manolo Blahniks (that I would trade my mother for, by the way), she opens the closet door and sees Big standing there. They pause, look at each other, then she runs into his arms. The rest is history. 


Those two events brought up some really heavy relationship stuff for me. As does everything these days. Whatever..

In case you didn't know, my relationship before this one ended in a very ugly, very bloody mess. I ended up in the trauma center fighting for my life. That's all I'm saying about that. I have mentioned before that I have my own personal army. The captain of that army is my homegirl. The General is my girlfriend. 

Sidenote: I am not accustomed to calling her anything other than my girlfriend so deal with it. Don't judge me.

Anyways...  She put me through a lot. Not the typical relationship stuff. Just emotional rollercoaster type-a-shit that I am wondering now would I have put up with if she where not "The General." This is the  person that did not leave my side for days during my ordeal. I saw her more than my mother. Seriously. In my morphine induced haze I feel deeper and deeper in love with this woman and way faster than normal. Given the circumstances that's understandable though, right?


Anyhoo, when I heard that (#1) in the movie it made me really think of what I was holding on to. 

Then the next thing (#2) brought up this other issue. Me and baby are already in, wait... shit, WHERE IN (ugh!) a long distance relationship. The longest we'd been apart were these last few months. That's when all the ups and downs got really, REALLY bad. Yeah. So when Carrie sees Big for the first time after what he put her through, she stops, looks, and finally runs into his arms. They are, once again, inseparable. But for good this time. So I'm wondering: What's it going to be like when I finally see her again? 

Now, I know I be on some ol' Nicki Minaj " ima bad b*tch, ima, ima bad b*tch" ish,(cuz i am, after all, a bad b*tch), but I am also a hopeless romantic and a believer in soul mates and love and all that stuff. So it could go a couple of different ways...

Who knows. Maybe when we do see one another again, it will be all good. Maybe not. But I don't like surprises and I'm a deep thinker sooooo. 

I was just wondering. 

Thats all.

*Star*