"If I were a STUD"

I was sitting up listening to my Pandora and Da Creole Qween's (aka Beyonce) song " If I Were a Boy" came on. It made me think of this. Its a REALLY BAD POEM SO PREPARE YOURSELF:
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If I were a stud
even just for one day
I would hop out of the bed throw on some recs and be on my way

I wouldnt chase after girls (cuz im far too fly for that), but i wouldnt tell them about MY girl
it would be all good
cuz while im out with them, i'd have my baby at home cooking dinner for me

If I were a stud
I don't think I would understand
How it feels to have my love in pain
I wouldn't do anything about it
Cuz i know she loves me, and she aint going NOWHERE

If I were a stud
I would lock up my phone
Never answer when my girl is around,
and get mad when she does the same

I'd put myself first, tell her "i just dont see your hurt"
Even when Im looking in her eyes
and she tells me what I did made her feel the absolute worst

If I were a stud I would tell my girl "i don't make you do anything you don't want to." When she says, "after all this mess, im still here"

If I were a stud I'd sip wine (pinky finger up) and ignore her tears.

If I were a stud. I'd read this and get mad.
but who gives a fuck anymore...

If I were a stud, i'd tell my girl "don't no stud wanna be your friend"

If I were a stud, I'd pick a fight, go out of town with my "girls", not call my girl while I'm gone, text her once, come back, still not call her, then say, "well, I didnt think you wanted to talk to me..."

If I were a stud, I would try to smooth over the out of order ass texts to my "friend" in my phone, then act like aint nothing ever happened.

If I were a stud, I would read this and say, "you're pushing me away from you!" or "im a private person."

If I were a stud, I would do something that I knew would hurt you, then tell you, I never do anything to hurt you...

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I wrote this one in March I think. I'm sure it was somewhere around Memorial Day 2010.
Yeah, Bleh...
Anyway
Miss Nikki

The old saying is ABSOLUTELY TRUE.

No one will buy a cow when they are already getting the damn milk for free. EVER. 

LOVE does NOT conquer all. 

Some people would rather be MISERABLE, than be wrong. 

Happy, successful women, think with their heads. Lonely, sad women think with their hearts. 

Fuck That

STAR
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I wrote this in Sept or Oct of last year (2009) just felt like clearing out some old posts that I hadn't let go off. There are more coming...

Locked and Loaded... You know u miss it

i am without a doubt, a ride or die girl. but dont do no f*ck sh*t in front of me now that I have kids.

after "the incident" i realized who my associates where. after I healed, i  realized who the wolves in sheep's clothing where. i see you

the woman i treated the absolute worst, is the person who loves me the absolute most. that b*tch is ride or die.

relationships are not for everyone. unfortunately, those people are hella sexy and hella charismatic. and so good in bed.fml

stop trying to keep b*tches that dont want to be kept.

some sh*t is unacceptable.

if it aint about a dollar it aint about me neither..... I was off that for a minute, but im back on it with a vengeance

twitter and skype has saved my sanity. keeps me  connected to the one stud that i dont think is in any way full of sh*t, with the shit, on that bullsh*t, or ratchet. cuz this damn blackberry is a piece of crap.

i'm getting married next year.

*STAR*

Neglect...and other family facts

I am so very sorry to those of you that care, about the fact that I haven't posted anything in almost a week. I was completely overloaded at work this week. On top of that, my family reunion was this weekend. Now work is work, but I must explain what I mean by family reunion. My family is humongous and can easily fill up an entire hotel(we almost did). So when we have a reunion, we have a reunion. My mom is the youngest of 14 survivng children, there were actually 20 in all. These people don't play around. My eldest uncle is 75 years old. That means I have cousins old enough to be my grandfather and cousins too young to feed themselves. I managed to survive the events without incident and without seeing anyone doing or wearing anything that would make them a prime candidate for youknowyoudeadazzwrong.com, the later of the two being the bigger shock.

There were several honarable mentions... and some funny sh*t I thought I should share:

1.my son got annoyed by one of my little cousins, so he politely cocked back and thumped her smack in her eye. Not above it, not below it, square in her eyeball. POW! He got dealt with by his uncle, please believe it, but that ish was funny as hell!

2. my mom danced right on out of her shoes, literally.

3. my brother(who is without a doubt one of the funniest people alive) hugged my mom for a picture and in the process, almost pulled her wig off. I about dropped dead right on the spot. My brother almost laughed up a lung. Mom Dukes was not pleased at all. Thats what a women who has hair down to her bra strap gets for wearing a wig to avoid the beauty salon anyway.

4. we had a "madea" impersonator, nuff said.

5. the aforementioned "madea" chased my uncle around the room with her pistol, like for real.

6. all the kids ran to the dance floor when the d.j. played that d*mn stanky leg song. my son (because he is MY son after all) ran the opposite way. to the stage. cuz he needed to be the featured "stanky legger."

7.we officially broke an elevator in the hotel.

Anyhoo, my life should return to some form of normality in the next couple days after the last of the family heads back home to almost every state in the union. I enjoy very much being with my peeps, we are such an ecclectic bunch. I would have loved to have not beenthere alone. Most of my family is well aware that i'm a big lezzie. No one ever really says anything though. When we have our reunion in, we'll be back down in the A baby, and there is no way in hell my girl wont be with me. Hopefully, I won't be sleeping alone on the regular anymore. We shall see. I will be back soon posting my randomness and frustrations about the world we live in very soon.

Love you guys

Tell a friend

Nik

Sissy Nobe!!!!

I LOVE LOVE LOVE Sissy Nobe!!!!!

Nik

white privledge

I did a video on my youtube channel(youtube.com/thefacegyrl) about this same crap once. It was about how white women are exotic dancers and escorts, but sistahs are strippers and hoes. That mess really irks me. As it applies to the GLBT community well, the divide is even deeper and more apparent.The best example I can give is my girl; Ellen Degeneres(sp?). Here you have a totally out caucasian woman with one of the top rated daytime talk shows on t.v. This woman has viewers and fans of every nationality and background there is. She has accomplished this all while being openly gay, yet also so very popular, that her "marraige" to her partner was plastered across the pages of People magazine. Fucking People magazine! Can somebody please name one openly gay, major mainstream personality of color. Any color. Other than white...don't worry, I'll wait. Still waiting. In the black gay community there is very little love once one comes out of the closet. Not nearly the support that is neccessary to navigate being young, black and gay in hollywood.It's sad and ignorant. Not that I have anything against Ellen, cuz I luvs me some her, It just bothers me when I think of the opportunities that I fight tooth and nail for that I KNOW would come more freely if I were just of the right "persuasion". I'm just saying.

Typos...

Let's just get this out the way. I'm wearing my nails super ghetto long right now. So there's always a butt-load of typos when I write something. Since I am totally aware of this, I ALWAYS use spellcheck. However, as I was writting my previous post I was literally in tears laughing at my mother. So please forgive the screw ups in there. I promise to do better next time!

*Sistahstar*
(Nik)