So over it...

It is so very apparent that I am not a Mac. I have always been a PC chick and I need to just stick with it. I'm done trying. Dell, I'm coming home!!!!!

Maybe then I can get some of my content going. So very annoyed right now.

I'm confused...

If the good lord says to me one day,"Nik, it's time for you to find a man." Am I supposed to forgive my mother for how she has treated me in the last few years?

Stepping my game up

I am really into blogging. Have been for a long time. I just never took the time to sit down and do it like I should. Because of the fact that I truly belive in this particular blog and what it can be, I am going to give it the attention that it deserves. So understand that this little blog of mine is a work in progress. There is so very much more to come besides the typed ramblings of my mind! Right now i'm working on a couple of things to make the site more interactive and learning how to add more content. I'm hella excited, even if no one else is. Stay tuned fam, its definately gets greater later.

Side note- Thanks to the Captain, all the soldiers, the one with the beautiful voice, and the crowd on Friday for that blessing. It certainly wasn't my time to leave, but it is most certainly my time to shine, and that's exactly what I intend to do...

Just a Thought

You know what's really nice? Morning sex. Early morning, stanky breath, bed head and all that. Its awesome. Unfortunately, I sleep alone. Boooo

So Extra(did i miss the memo?)

Please, please, please will someone tell me why we gots to act a damn nut all the time? I work in a public place and almost daily, one of "us" comes thru showing they ass! I am truly agitated right now. I just saw tonight's episode of "let's act a damn fool" which included a full reproduction of the routine from Beyonce's Single Ladies video. Really. So I just need to ask this question. Why we gots to be so extra? Ugh!

Just let go, dayum.

Its interesting that this fell into MY lap the other day, but if I'm going to stick to my concrete rule that no one and nothing are above getting blogged about then I must speak on this one.
So I got a homegirl out in California. She has an ex that we affectionately refer to as Psycho
Kitty. THIS... CHICK... IS... CRAZY. Just since I've known of this girl (which has not been that long) she has done so much extra ish that even I can't keep up. The bottom line is this. When a mofo doesn't want to f*ck with you anymore, then they don't want to f*ck with you anymore! Why is it necessary to send threatening text messages (I would recommend saving every single one of them)? Why start shit in a club, especially when that just leaves a million witnesses to your psychosis? Why is necessary for the new jump off to interject their 1.5 cents into the situation, when you have no idea who they are or where they come from? Wait, I do know the answer to that one. It's because New Boo has heard "all about how evil, horrible, and terrible you are, yet you have heard nothing about them. Actually, New Boo is probably sick and fucking tired of hearing about you, but oh well. I find that one pretty damn funny actually, but I digress. Anyways, what's the logic behind all the crazy ex stalker sh*t? Is it some unwritten rule that one person must go nuts during breakup? I must interject my disclaimer here, and get used to hearing this one: This foolishness is not exclusive to the family, it's just so amplified because our circle is so much smaller and concentrated. For straight people there are six degrees of separation from one person to the next. With us, there's only three degrees. Basically, we live in a fishbowl. Not only are we (the community) all watching each other, the straight world is watching us too. Everything is magnified to the inth freaking degree. We make ourselves look stupid. So allow me to issue this public service announcement: Ex's, please learn to let go. Move on, and be very careful what you send in a text message. Ex's new piece, understand that in the grander scheme of things, you don't even exist. I mean it's sad, but so very true. Can everyone just grow up? Everything ain't for everybody and you can't always deal with people just because you pity them. If a mofo was crazy with one, chances are they'll be crazy with you. Oh and to my homegirl out in the Bay that made me think about all this, that bitch sounds like she might need to be commited. Hide your kitchen knives...

white privledge

I did a video on my youtube channel(youtube.com/thefacegyrl) about this same crap once. It was about how white women are exotic dancers and escorts, but sistahs are strippers and hoes. That mess really irks me. As it applies to the GLBT community well, the divide is even deeper and more apparent.The best example I can give is my girl; Ellen Degeneres(sp?). Here you have a totally out caucasian woman with one of the top rated daytime talk shows on t.v. This woman has viewers and fans of every nationality and background there is. She has accomplished this all while being openly gay, yet also so very popular, that her "marraige" to her partner was plastered across the pages of People magazine. Fucking People magazine! Can somebody please name one openly gay, major mainstream personality of color. Any color. Other than white...don't worry, I'll wait. Still waiting. In the black gay community there is very little love once one comes out of the closet. Not nearly the support that is neccessary to navigate being young, black and gay in hollywood.It's sad and ignorant. Not that I have anything against Ellen, cuz I luvs me some her, It just bothers me when I think of the opportunities that I fight tooth and nail for that I KNOW would come more freely if I were just of the right "persuasion". I'm just saying.

Gay for Pay

HBO has this series called Cathouse. It's all about the Moonlight Bunny Ranch outside of Vegas (you know, the spot where prostitution is legal). So there's this black chick on there that's talking about how she's not into girls at all, but it is, of course, something she'll do for the money. That got me thinking. In the real world there are sooooooooooo many people, guys and girls, that will go there because of what somebody will give them.I see it almost everyday.
Let's say a "straight" guy (dude #1) meets another guy (dude#2). #2 is paid. I mean ballin' out the frame. He has the big house the hot car(s), and is, at all times, fresh to death. Besides all of that, he's super cool and Very generous with his possessions. He's also gay. #2 is feeling #1 and makes that clear buy buying him expensive gifts, giving him money and all that other trick sh*t. #2's motives are clear. Because #1 is falling for the lifestyle he "plays along".All the way. Now what does that say about him? First of all, no "straight" man is about to be accepting gifts from another dude. Period. With men, if you're down, you're down. Face it. With women, its a bit more complicated. Anybody can lick your, well, you know, but it takes a lot more than that to make a dyke. You get my point, though. I'm just NOT about to believe that any dude who hasn't had the urge at least once is going to just be ok with getting poked in the a** in exchange for some nice gifts. I'm just saying...

Who Is Sistahstar?

Alright, now that I've had my nightly medication (half a bottle of Muscato)I think i'm about as prepared as I'll ever be to speak about myself.
Sooooo...

I am Nik. Let's just go with that because I can't stand my name. For the purposes of this blog i'm going to admit that yes, the dreaded "L" word does apply to me.

I...am...a...lesbian. Agh! Oh no! The horror!!!

Yep, I like girls, well women actually. Have for a very long time. This may come as a shock to some of my high school friends, but don't worry, I can promise that I wasn't looking at any of you. Soooo what does that mean? Do I dress like a guy? Not exactly, though I was a quite a tomboy until about my junior year of high school. Does it mean that I think I'm a man? Not at all. Trust that I firmly believe in being treated like a queen (cuz I am one :-). All it means is that I am attracted to the fairer sex and not males. I'm not a murderer, or a pedophile, or anything else that society tries to say that all homosexuals are. I am, however, a mother and a writer, an artist, a sister, a friend, and now, a serious blogger. For some reason, though, it appears that the only title anyone is interested in is that damn "L" word. Why is that? Don't know, but I have my theories.

What I'm interested in is us, you know, the fam. Why are we such a mess? I mean really. Hot messes everywhere you look. Fighting in the club EVERY WEEKEND over the same tired piece that everyone has had. Wearing rainbow belts with electric buckles that flash your "name". Chicks smacking they're partner around cuz it makes them feel more masculine. WTF?! I mean what's really good people?
Whoosaaa...whoosaaa...whoosaaa

Ok how about I stop right there. This post is already way too long. Let's just say that I have a few issues with my folks. Hopefully, I can resolve or at least gain a better understanding of some of this sh*t.

Bitchassness is very real people.

Its late.

Aiight

*Nik*

Typos...

Let's just get this out the way. I'm wearing my nails super ghetto long right now. So there's always a butt-load of typos when I write something. Since I am totally aware of this, I ALWAYS use spellcheck. However, as I was writting my previous post I was literally in tears laughing at my mother. So please forgive the screw ups in there. I promise to do better next time!

*Sistahstar*
(Nik)

The First of Many

I am sitting here laughing hysterically at my mother. She had surgery two days ago to repair her rotator cup (which I have NO idea how she messed up in the first place) and, needless to say, she is as high as a mink coat. So family, you will have to forgive me if this first post is a little crazy. What I had intended for this particular blog to cover was a little about me, and a lot about what I plan for sistahstar.com to be. However, you must understand that my mother is one of those people who can't even smell alcohol without geting tipsy, forget about drugs. She's never smoked a joint or drank an entire glass of anything besides water. So the fact that she's sitting next to me, all loaded up on Loratabs, is BEYOND funny! I AM CRACKING UP! She's so lit taht she's singing her words. Its like: "Heeeeeyyyyy baaaaaby, hoooow are yooooouuuu?!" Oh how I wish I could put video on this thing...



I degress (well i'm gonna try to,cuz she's still singing)...



So welcome to Sistahstar.com!!!! I will hold out on telling you abut me, and stick to the purpose of my blog. First of all, I LOVE TO WRITE. PERIOD. I am without question, one of the gayst people on the planet. I mean super gay. As one of my favorite bloggers MissJia, of shesofly.com would say I am "ubeliciously gay". I love women, well one woman in particular, but you get the picture. Being from the type of family that i'm from and also being from the south (and trust me, that's just the tip of the iceberg of my drama), I have been exposed to the best and worst that this lifestyle brings out of people, both gay and straight. Because of that I wasn't feedback, from everyone. I am going to speak my very opinionated mind about a full range of topics that affect the black gay community. More specifically, things that affect black lesbians.



So feel free to follow me and comment. Hopefully we can work out some of the foolywang and bitchassness that has been running rampant in the life. Cuz I don' t know about you fam, but I just about can't take this sh*t anymore...



In a minute

*Sistahstar*