I really wish my mom would watch this... aka: Netflix is the sh*t

Since there is only one flat screen in my studio(cuz im really cheap now), I spend a great deal of time on Netflix. Today, I stumbled upon this amazing documentary called "For The Bible Tells Me So." It goes through the stories of about 5 or 6 families, deeply rooted in different religious denominations. Each of these families went through a very specific struggle with their faith and homosexuality. It also breaks down the biblical references that most people use as there base for hating and mistreating Gays and Lesbians in the good ol' United States. This. Movie. Is. Amazing. Everyone should watch it. I'd never even heard of this documentary before. Like I said, i literally stumbled upon it while looking for "the Last Emperor (a documentary about Valentino's Last couture show).  There are so many things in this film that stood out to me. The 2 things that spoke to me the most where the way the film breaks down, very specifically, the commonly held beliefs that the Bible thumpers use to rile up the sheep (that's what I call the followers that don't read and study for themselves). The second thing is that the mother in the black family featured in the film (the only black family, go figure) expressed that years after her daughter came out to her and her preacher husband, she realized that the thing that disturbed her the most about her daughter's sexuality was her unconscious obsession with what she was doing in her bedroom. Just saying "Mom, Dad, Im gay", isn't really what was pushing her over the edge.  For some reason, her mind was wrapped up in the way her daughter was acting in her relationship. When she realized this, she was able to make a conscious decision to not concern herself with that aspect of her child's relationships. After that she was able to accept that her child was simply different from her. She stated, "I was thinking totally about how she was having sex and not about her as a person."


That's heavy. 

I WISH I COULD GET MY MOTHER TO WATCH THIS. 


Because this post is so close to home for me, i'm gonna stop there. But if you ever get the chance, please check out the film.And tell a friend to tell a friend to watch it. Spread the word.


Nik

Natural Hair=Lesbian?

My hair has been natural for about 6 years now. I tried to do the whole, "let the perm grow out but don't cut it all off" thing. That didn't work for me. So one hot summer day, I took my son to the barber shop and hopped right in the chair after he was done. My barber asked how low I wanted to go. It took me all of half a second to say, "bald, I want it gone."  Now mind you, I had a mountain of shoulder length hair on my head. It was a severely  neglected, curly mess. He cut it down to something like one inch without the guards. It was  awesome. You couldn't tell me I wasn't fine. 
About 3 days later, I go to pick up my moms for a funeral. As I'm walking up the stairs I say, "momma, I'm bald, don't freak out." She took one look at me and screamed, then she cried. Then she took a deep enough breath to call me a "bull-dagger." Yeah, I know.



Look-a-here Negroes: I have TONS of friends with natural hairstyles. From Afros to locks to everything in between.All of them are not gay. Most of the new people I have met on my natural hair journey, are not gay. However, it seems like every time i'm in earshot of straight black women and a short/natural haired sister approaches, she is either given "the look" or the mumbling begins.


Women of color, in particular, have always been told that their hair is their crowning glory. My mother is a HUGE believer in this bull. A pretty black woman, with pretty straight(read; Caucasian) hair will have no problem catching a great husband ad having a great life. Because you know, the main prize is a husband, right? So for a women to reject that belief system means she's a dyke. And not just a dyke, but a nappy-headed one at that. 


Hair does not a lesbian make. A chick like me gets hot sometimes and just cuts it all off again. I don't become anymore gay every time I do a big chop, do I? Clearly not. But in the Black community, even with as many straight, and happily married women with natural hairstyles Black folks are still giving the side eye to close cropped sisters. Cuz they think we all wanna get they booty... Please believe this is NOT at all the case. There are some black women who just want to have the option to just get up and go, without being a slave to that creme-o-crack (relaxer). 


Stop being so stereotypical and judgmental, and stupid people. 


Hope this helps...I doubt that it will..


Aiight then,

*Star*
P.S. I had some really cool pics for this post but they wont link so oh well....

Daddy's Girl

Being a lesbian has only served to make my relationship with my mother worse. I would have never that possible, but oh well. One of the more interesting things about my mother is that she is actually the woman who gave birth to me. My daddy, on the other hand, came into my life when I was just a baby and he treats me like a princess. Always has. Sometimes I think that man hung the moon and stars (and i LOVE stars) in the sky just for me. My sexual orientation doesn't piss him off nearly as much as the fact that I jacked the limit back up on my Macy's card after he paid it off-twice. Now that REALLY makes him mad. Its funny, cuz, to me there are things that matter and things that don't. One of the things that just doesn't (or at least shouldn't) matter, as far as I'm concerned, are my sleeping arrangements. I mean, really, who cares? It's just so very strange to me that a person who is not genetically attached to me any way, shape, or form, loves me for me, and my very own mother has completely drank the Kool-aid and is driving me insane. Well, she's'trying to anyways. Once again, im supremely agigtated...again. This will be a recurring theme on this blog. Sorry folks.