Whats the deal with Lezzies adn threesomes? YUK and HELL NO

For some reason or another, all of my younger Lesbian friends always want to come to me for advice. I find that quit hilarious, considering how good I am at NOT keeping a girlfriend. However, they seem to think I have all the answers because I've been there, done that. I disagree, but if they ask, i'm telling. One recurring theme that I get hit with by the babies (that's what I call all of them).

THREESOMES


*sigh*



I don't get it. I just do NOT get it.  Look, I like sex just as much as the next person. But I'm a relationship girl. And you're telling me I'm supposed to be 100 with having another bitch touching, kissing, and *gasp* f*cking MY girlfriend...while I watch (or partake, or however that sh*t goes).  I'm supposed to enjoy this sh*t? Because I'm a  lesbian? You're telling me I'm NOT supposed to rip this hoe's throat out? I'm NOT supposed to close your eye permanently for even suggesting such a thing? Because I'm a lesbian... Really. Uh, hell no.
Now this is not to say that I haven't done it before. But it was outside of the context of a relationship. My babies always call and ask about having one with their girlfriend dujour (that's girlfriend of the moment for you, uh, yeah). This tells me a couple of things. 1: I am in the minority as a relationship lesbian, and 2: these b*tches out here got the game ALL WRONG.


Once upon a time I offered to "get" a certain girl for my girlfriend at the time as a gift to her for throwing me such an awesome birthday party. Mind you, I was also so drunk at said party that I was asleep before they cut MY birthday cake. That tells you the state of f*cked-up-ness one must be in to get that ish past me. Needless to say, it didn't happen.


Anywhoo, I really wanna know what the thrill is. In straight relationships a threesome is like the big unspoken fantasy of the boyfriend. Its the elephant in the room. You know he's thinking it, You KNOW he wants it. You also know that, in most cases, he has more sense than to even bring it up. But with lesbians its like a given, almost expected. Whenever the issue comes up with the babies I give the truth according to Star and it goes a little something like this:
DON'T DO  IT (especially if you plan on having any type of long term relationship with this girl)
DON'T DO IT (especially if she's a femme and offered it, cuz chances are she's offered it up plenty of times before
DON'T DO IT (especially if your her first, cuz her and the third party are gonna be boning on your down time)
But since you're gonna do it any way, remember this. 
BE SAFE BE SAFE BE SAFE (that's always rule number one)
DO NOT LET IT GO DOWN AT YOU HOME (cuz you will never look at you comfy bed the same again)
and most importantly
BE THE GUEST STAR ( let that one marinate for a minute, it'll come to ya)


Hope that helps someone out there, Cuz i think my babies are just too far gone for salvation. Oh well.




*Star*

I Do Not Date...

Here's another oldie but goodie that I wrote a LONG time ago and never published. Just thought I'd share.
I originally wrot ethis around April of this year.
This is some good info people. Pay attention.
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 Lesbians are serial daters... I am not. I am a relationship girl. Lezzies tend to see a chick, bone a chick, move in with or move on to the next chick. That mess baffles me. I think that's one of the things that alienates a lot of straight people from us. Even those that are "sympathetic" to our plight. How fast we switch (or add in some cases) partners. How many times have you seen your friend (associate or whatever) at the club with someone one week, then two weeks later, you see them again with someone totally new? Then you ask them, " hey, what happened to so and so?"
Wait two weeks, and repeat.
Its so silly and, more importantly, its dangerous. Casual hookups in a community that doesn't have a a large number of people perpetuates not only a lot of fighting and bullsh*t, but a lot of other stuff you cant get rid of...
We want to be respected and all that then we need to stop acting like the only time were human is when someone straight uses a slur against us. Nobody gets over love in a month/week/day.Stop fronting. Especially you studs.

Short sweet and to the damn point.
*Star*

1 RECOGNIZE WHAT HAPPENED

    once you accept and believe that it is over, you can start the real healing process. 

2. FEEL (AND ACCEPT) THE ANGER

    let it burn. period. and its gonna burn bad. but deal with it.

3. GET SUPPORT

    call on YOUR friends. not your mutaul friends. just those that are gonna be there and remind you how awesome      you are. cuz we tend to forget this when we get blindsided. 

4. MOURN THE LOSS, BUT DON'T WALLOW IN SELF PITY

    Mourn the person being gone. You loved them, so clearly they where someone very special in your life. but do not   stop living. and stay away from drugs and/alcohol. this will make it all worse.

5. GET CLOSURE

    say whatever it is you feel to that person. if they wont see you or talk to you. write it down and burn it. but get it out.

6. NO REBOUNDS

     DON'T DO IT!!!!!

7. LET IT ALL OUT

    kick, yell, scream, whatever. its extremely therapeutic. 

8. LOOK AT YOURSELF

    dumper or dump-y, it takes 2 to tango. think about what part you played in this. so you don't drag it to you next relationship. 

9. "THAT WHICH DOES NOT KILL US, MAKES US STRONGER"

     remember that tomorrow is another day. and no matter how bad you feel, this will not kill you. 

10.LET GO AND LET GOD...

     self explanatory

Bye...

 STAR

Miss Nikki Chanel

¿Adora qué? El coño? chica adiós

YESSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My girl Chanel over at divasrainbow.blogspot.com posted this the other day. When I read it you would have thought I was at a Baptist church tent revival down in Itabena, MS or something the way I was shouting, honey. Pay special attention to the 3rd point on the list, cuz THATS the one that tells the tale. EVERY TIME.
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MONDAY, MARCH 15, 2010

Cellphones = DRAMA. Nuff said.

No one can stay drama free forever. It's virtually impossible unless you live isolated in a igloo somewhere, and even then you'll have drama cuz it's cold as shit and you'll freeze your ass off. But let me tell you this, and i'm gonna try to keep it short and sweet- if you are in a relationship and you don't know how to act, you're cell phone WILL get you in trouble. Let me break down "not knowin how to act":

- if you have a significant other and you feel the need to send 58678394 text messages every day to someone else BESIDES that significant other...you dont know how to act.

-if you have a significant other and you wait for her to leave the house so you can talk to the NEXT chick on the phone...you don't know how to act.

-if you have a significant other and you cant put the damn cell phone down for a day in fear of missing something...you dont know how to act.

- if you have a significant other and you have mini seizures on the inside everytime she touches or even breathes near your phone...you don't know how to act.

-if you have a significant other and your phone is goin off past midnite from females who ARENT family members or who at least arent dying... you don't know how to act.

There are more but i'm tired and this subject has thoroughly frustrated me for the night so im through. Get it together ladies. Most of us are too old for the bullshit and games. Please know that cell phones = drama so if you're triflin, play it safe and do your shit in PERSON. Cuz if u use the cell, you will get caught. Point blank period.

I need a drink.

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Remember this, rarely are people as stupid as you THINK they are. And patience ALWAYS runs out... I'm gonna leave it at that.

"Mustafa, hahahahahaha!" "Ooh say it again!" "Mustafa." "BWAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!!"

It seems that I may have unintentionally (b*tch please) ruffled a few feathers with my last post. Im actually surprised at the number of emails I got about it, cuz I really was just playing around. The idea came to me when I was talking a friend about studs and stems and all that bullsh*t. It occurred to me that a lot of the things that have happened to myself, happened in an almost identical manner to at least two of my friends. With studs of course. I thought it  was kinda funny. Some of my stud buddys, not so much. Anyway, I wrote it quick, but from the heart. I do think that studs are some sneakiest little bastards alive and a large number of them are too dumb to know a good thing if it smacked them upside the damn head. I'm the marriage type and  it has been my experience that faithfulness and/or long lasting commitment are just NOT a studs stong points. But hey, new p*ssy used to fascinate me too, when I was like ummm  19.  Whatever. 
Here me loud and clear: This DOES NOT apply to all studs. Matter of fact, in Memphis, TN, there are some GREAT studs. Hardworking, real, honest, and into relationships. I just choose to make them friends instead of lovers, like a dummy. But I digress. 


In the interest of fairness, I have created the "Good Doggie" list. This list will contain those studs who are nice looking, great catches, just overall good "guys" that stupid femmes (yes I am acknowledging that there are plenty of dumb a*s femmes out there messing it up for the rest of us) keep effing over. These "Good Doggies" can usually be found hanging out with at least one of those other hyena assholes. Keep your eyes open girls. Birds of a feather DO NOT always flock together. Trust. 


Now, I am not a hypocrite nor am I narrow-minded. I know this ish goes both ways. However, as a femme, who was at one time in my life 100%certain of the type of woman I would end up with (long haired, thick, red-bone, and STUDDED OUT THE DAMN FRAME *wipes sweat*), I have to speak from my own perspective. 


The truth of the matter is this:


1. If you were offended, even slightly, then I probably hit a nerve. Do I give a damn.........*crickets*  Its my blog, I pay for it, I say what the hell I want. And  you will STILL love me. 
2. Stud (ism) is a state of mind. Not a dress code. If you're not as masculine when you're naked as you are with that damn fitted on, then you're just as fish *snaps* as I am.


To my Femme Chica's, shoot me an email if you want to know how to tell which one is the hyena and which one is the good dog. You have to have a trained eye cuz they run in the same pack and if you'e not careful you'll end up chasing  in love with the damn hyena. Even if you're lucky enough to catch her, its only temporary. 


Broaden you're horizons ladies. Dream big in the lesbian life. Just like straight folks. Don't just look for the "it" girl. There are some quiet kings out there that will give you the world on a string if given the opportunity.  A woman like me has Congress-woman wishes, and Damier dreams (thats Louis Vuitton, in case you didn't know). F*ck a dog. Literally... 


tick
tick
tick
tick 
you know what's next


See ya on capitol hill


*SIPS MUTHA F'N TEA*


*STAR*

Speak a Piece...

Those who don't do---teach
Those who don't believe---preach
So I would much rather seek
God through you
Confess my imperfection to you
So at least when our conversations are through
I wasn't bewitched with theological bullshit
from well dressed hustlers standing in the pulpit
I say to them game recognize game
Christ said church is where two or more are assembled in my name
and when i am with you
God is with me
and when i am inside you
God becomes we
And heaven and hell have no division
so in tuned that we no longer make love
we make religion

By: Six
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The things that be in my inbox.... whoo chyle....

*STAAARR*

Label Whores...

"If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies of me and eaten alive."-Audre Lorde

"Nobody built like me, I designed myself." -Jay-Z

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Lesbian, Dyke, Homo, Bull-Dagger( thats my moms favorite). That's what I am to the straight world. Then there's Femme, Femme-Aggressive, Dominate Femme, Stem, Stud, and Soft Stud categories that I fall into on any given day depending on who i'm with or how i'm dressed. Im sure there's a  host of other labels that Im forgetting about here. And dont even get me started on the boys. That list could go on forever. 
For me, its not really that big of a ldeal to fit into a category, but for the world, if you cant be defined you can't be controlled and that's a problem. As a group of non-conformists, one would think that the LGBT community would recognize this and shy away form labeling ourselves. However, we have fallen right in step with the world.

Since the day I posted that I was single I have been getting these emails from people stating that they were a ____ year old, femme/stud/stud AG/stem/whatever, wondering if they might be my type and if we could connect. Firts of all, if you're "lurking" on my blog, I cant fool with you. This is a business. Period. Secondly, as I read these emails and noticed the patterns of how people were describing themselves, I thought how intersing it was that everyone felt the need to hang a tag over their head. Straight people don't introduce themselves that way. Have you ever had, or even heard of a dude stepping ot a female with this: 

"Hi im so-and-so, im a 29 year old medium build dude, brown skinned, and I wear locks in my hair to give the appearance that I'm taller and more enlightened than I really am."


Sidenote: If you really want to impress a mofo, introduce yourself by giving your full government name followed immediately by the number of children/baby mommas you have, tell what your 401K is looking like these days and give your FICO score.

OK. 
For the sake of this post I'll drop myself in a box and wrap it up in a cute little bow for ya'll. I am GROWN. I like strong women (well one strong women in particular, but we've been over THAT enough already). I got a MEAN shoe game and a SICK purse fetish (wut up GOTTI). I may have on Creative Rec's in the daytime and Botega's at night. I have lots of tattoos and will be getting more soon. Oh yeah, and im a great big Lezzie. Does that help? No? Awwww, too bad then

Chances are, if you follow or lurk on my blog you're either Gay, Gay friendly, a member of my family, one of my "sisters", or a member of my "army." Its just that simple. I think its a pretty safe assumption that if you're emailing me on some "can we connect ish", then you're just gay. No need for the meaningless descriptions that just confuse me more. One more time, just so we can be clear from here on out: I LIKE WOMEN (insert disclaimer...again). I don't necessarily care how you dress or how you get down in bed or any of that. I do care that you are comfortable enough in who you are to know that those silly little titles don't really mean anything. Some of you excluded yourself from the pool of applicants without even knowing it.

Ok thats all...


*Le Twinkle*

My take on Lesbian Zodiac Signs...

Im going to try and do this from just My memory and in order. Don't shoot me if I mess it up.

Aries: Sensitive and Stubborn, but fiercely Loyal. Very sexual. If you get one to actulluy fall in love with you AND be faithful to you. You are officially the bomb.com

Taurus: Similar to Aries. BEYOND stubborn.Fighters, not quite as sexual, but lots of fun.

Gemini: Two sided, but not necessarily two faced. Just watch your back and pick your battles wisely. You're only one person, but you're fighting two.

Cancer: Super sensitive, Super loyal, very determined

Leo: Ummm, no thanks

Virgo: *Clears throat* RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!

Libra: Cool

Scorpio: Cool

Sagitarius: Together and driven. Family oriented. Lots of fun. Great in bed/on the island in the kitchen/in the car...

Capricorn: I've never met one that was ever wrong about anything...in their own heads.

Aquarius: Cool, most of the time. (but that could be said about anyone)

Pisces: Without a doubt the most unbelieveably amazing lovers. Without a doubt, the least compassionate people.

*Star*

In Today's WTF News...PT. 1

Looks like the Tastee Diner messed with the wrong lesbians when they booted Aiyi’nah Ford and her partner Torian Brown from their restaurant at 2 a.m. on August 12th for embracing at the counter while waiting to give their waitress her tip. The Washington Blade reports, Ford and Brown were asked to “please take that outside,” by the diner’s manager. Ford then questioned whether the manager, identified as Paul, was serious in his request for them to leave. Paul said that he was serious, even as Ford pointed out a straight couple blatantly kissing in a nearby booth and wasn’t asked to leave the establishment. According to Ford, Paul “proceeded to say that this was a family establishment and that people are trying to eat, as though our embrace would make someone sick.”
Ford and Brown’s waitress then followed them outside to apologize and informed the couple incidents like this have happened before. Ford and Brown decided to take action and planned a “kiss-in” type protest to take place on Wednesday, August 19th. Ford, who is also a blog radio host, announced the protest details on her show. The protest consisted of the group eating, paying for their meals, and then engaging in an embrace by the counter. Twenty-five (25) supporters and local media showed up for the protest. Ford told the Blade, “when we arrived, they asked us to sit in the back. [The discrimination] is blatant, and they don’t even know what they’re doing. It’s tragic and sad.”
The protest went off without incident. Ford vows to continue to pursue her complaint with the Maryland Commission on Human Relations. As a result of this incident, Ford says, “we’ll be visible. That’s what’s gonna come from this at this point. That’s what we feel is best.”
Who else is pumping their fist for these ladies taking a stand? We know we are.
Tastee’s manager Laura Wilkes , spoke to media on camera and stated, “Tastee Diner is a family restaurant. And it doesn’t matter if you’re straight or if you’re gay. If you start going beyond the point of kissing and things start getting x-rated, we’re going to ask you to stop.”
X-rated? Hmmm. From the footage we saw, the encounter between Ford and Brown was hardly x-rated. But, we’ll allow you to be the judge.
In response to all this media attention, surveillance video from Tastee Diner was posted online to show the Ford and Brown embrace that took place on August 12th. ___________________________________________________

*This was found at BLACKGAYGOSSIP.COM I am still working on my feeds so I have to do this manually to make sure I'm crediting my peers correctly.*

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I'm so sick of this type of bullsh*t I don't know what to do...

*STAR*

Now back to our regularly scheduled program...

my eyeballs are drooling...

I really needed this.

After sitting through yet another display of black women's ass being portrayed as the only meaningful part of their body ( i'm watching MTV Jams) in Drake's new video, I thought I had better feed my soul with something worthwhile. Quickly. For those of you not up on her, this is Hanifah Walidah. She...is... the Truth. She is not a conventional beauty or a conventional artist, but she is hot to death. Celibrate something different, and better. Listen to the lyrics, don't just check out the track. Definately GOole-worthy. Enjoy...

Nik

THE GREAT DIVIDE

Current TV ( my new favorite station), has been running some really great shows in honor of June being Gay Pride Month. There was one documentary about the "Boi's." There are these women who basically live their lives as men. They look like men, walk and talk like men, of course they dress like men. Thats's not the interesting part, though. The real trip (to me) is how far they are willing to go to perpetuate the stereotype. Now let me say this. This is my blog so everything I say here is my opinion. These are my perspectives. So, I am probably going to offend someone when I say certain things. Now that that's out of the way, here's what I think. I did a blog a while ago about the great divide between the two factions. The caucasion vs. the non white glbt community. Watching that documetary brought it all back to me again. The "boi's" on the documentary were expressing how they felt about their bodies and how it (it being their feminine forms) made life significantly more difficult than it had to be. Most of the women in the show had either had top surgery (cosmetic surgery to remove the breasts), were on "T" (testoterone shots), or a combination of both.

Now I know a lot of Boi's. Generally, every stud I know falls in this category. I do not know anyone, however, that is even remotely considering the possibility of top surgery, or even knows what a testerone shot is all about. I don't even think I know anybody who has ever taped down their boobs or even considered it for that matter.

The more I think about it, the more I start to believe that the great divide is really real. It is a great divide. I asked someone very close to me (a stud) if they would ever consider going forward with either of the options that I saw on that documentary. Her answer was, of course, a flat out NO.

People of color often make fun of just how different the other persuasion really is. As open minded as I am, i'm starting to believe the hype. Being a person of color, moreover, a lesbian of color with friends who are not black, I feel like I have been exposed to so many other things that I would never have even heard of had I just stayed within my community. What's interesting to note is the fact that, with all my open minded-ness and rainbow coalition of friends, I still believe just as my community believes. A lot of the things that non blacks in the family will partake in for the perpetuation of a stereotype are utterly ridiculous and most of us of color wouldn't even give a passing thought. I can' t even fathom a circumstance existing that would make me or any person of color spend upwards of $10,000 cutting off their breasts when there are perfectly good extra small sports bras at Target for less than ten bucks. I would like to have some insight into the mindset that goes along with pumping your body full of a male horman for he sake of having facial hair. I just don't get it. I want to, but I don't. If anyone can help me understand this, please get at me. Cuz I was totally and completely lost after I watched that documentary! Any and all input is welcomed here and GREATLY appreciated. Cuz ya girl is lost. For real.

this bullsh*t

So ummm, yeah. I came out of my house finally. I figured Pride was as good a time as any to step out and try and have some fun. Uh, I was sadly mistaken. I live in Memphis(most of the time), and the trouble with that is the fact that there aint sh*t EVER poppin'. Not from lack of effort, but from lack of f*cking support and overall hating b.s. Soooo many people have tried to do things, you know, create stuff for the fam to do. But mofo's dont support shit. The only thing that ever stays crunk is the gay club cuz you know the new booty's are gonna party no matter what. But if you're over 22, wut the hell are you supposed to do at the gay club? Babysit? Chaperone? Wut?! I can't stand this shit not one more pride. I'm putting Memphis on blast. From here on out. I am a native and I have the RIGHT to speak on this shit.

I am going out every night this pride week. I'm going to document this from beginning to end. This should get very interesting.

*Note* I have video of some of the foolishness from last nights "event". As soon as I get my Blackberry to stop timing out while i'm uploading the video, i'll post it on here. It is hilarious.

Nik

Strap-ology 101

This is a topic near and dear to my heart. However, as I am generally on the receiving end, I am pretty sure that I am not the person that should be writing about this. I DO NOT STRAP UP. It's just not going to happen, point blank, period. I just think I look damn ridiclous trying to do that sh*t. I mean, i've done it, but I hated it (she liked it, but who cares about her). I was just so out of my element that I faked every single moment of it, and who has time for all that? Everything aint for everybody, ya know. What I am going to do, is have a few guest bloggers on here that know much more about being "givers." If anyone has something they want to share about this topic, let me know. I know this is a very touchy subject and I am interested to see what people have to say. I am going to withhold my thoughts on the matter until after I see what ya'll think. This should be very interesting.

So welcome to sistahstar.com's first series: strap-ology 101

Got something to say? hit me up - facegyrl@yahoo.com

xoxo

Nik