Touch me Not Studs... What.The.Hell?

I know I haven't posted in along time. Technically this applies a locked and loaded post. So here ya go I.C.! Sorry for the delay.


THESE TOUCH ME NOT STUDS CAN GO THE HELL ON!


That is the dumbest ish I have ever heard of in my life. 
Im sorry but it is.


I just saw a video on Youtube where this lesbian couple are discussing the "touch me not" syndrome. 
The femme chick was expressing how she had to kinda coax her stud girlfriend into allowing her to perform the business. The stud chick stated that she had been a a "touch me not" chick for about 8 years. 
*blink blink* no, no, no, just NO.
This b*tch said she hadn't gotten head in 8 years. 8 YEARS???!!!
Hold up, let me tell you one damn thing right now: Let me not get some head in 8 MONTHS, imma be a raging bitch. Hell, even 8 WEEKS and im not gonna be the nicest person either. But 8 YEARS?! GURL BYE... 
You dont even wanna know! 


The other thing that really irked me about this video is that the stud chick was so overly concerned about how she sounded. Her girl said something like "you be calling my name all cute." Stud chick got kinda mad and replied," uh uh, I never call your name like that, u know I use my deep man voice." Like she was overly concerned about maintaining her "masculinity." Who the hell cares if you sound like a dude? You are NOT a dude!Get over yourself! 
Now I understand that there are studs, lots of women period,  that have had terrible things happen to them that cause them not to want to be touched in that way. These are not the ladies that i'm referring to. Im talking about these faking ass imma dude type-a-broads that are so sold on the fantasy of maleness, that they don't want anyone to get at the vajay-jay. It makes no sense.And what if you're in a relationship with someone who genuinely ENJOYS giving head? Thats just not fair to them. I wouldn't last 5 seconds in that one. Sorry.  


Now to be fair, I have to say that these lesbians that don't like penetration confuse me too, but not as much. If you go long enough without wearing your earrings, the hole WILL close. And re-opening that mutha hurts. So, yeah, I kinda get it, kinda not. But anyway, these ratchet ass studs bay bay. A mess.


Enough of this silly sh*t. Im going to bed. 


*Sips Chandon*
And good evening...
Imperial Star

No Time Like The Present (locked and Loaded Lite)

I just wanted to say something....

But I cant remember what it was....

So imma say this instead:

Never say Never

Relationships are difficult, but nothing is more complicated than love

Whoever said money can't by love was out of their damn minds

Gay sh*t goes>>>here

I gots to go.

Starra

Locked and Loaded... Returns Again

I have noticed that a particular blog that I follow, even though the owner doesn't particularly care for me, has started doing something VERY similar to my locked and loaded posts. I don't mind really, but ya'll know who started this foolishness. Anyway, I know ya'll love them and I miss doing them. So here goes:

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I will be having some type of party on March 2nd 2010. Something big. I desearve it.

Never trust a big butt and a smile

A sounthern accent in North Cali will get you almost anything.

Sometimes love comes around, and it knocks you down. But I fight back.

They sell Verve Clicqot in Target out here. For $40. Ya'll know i'm in trouble, right?

Cali is good to me. Just like I knew she would be....

Uh Huh....

*Shining Bright*  *Sip Sip*

*STAR*

A Quick Update...

Just wanted to drop a line or two and let you guys know that i'm still here. I'm just super busy, but it's a good thing this time.I get the most most emails when I write personal stuff and the infamous Locked and Loaded posts. So i'm gonna do a "semi locked and loaded" post right quick. Just to tide you over until I get all this stuff where it needs to be.So here you go.
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My hair has gotten way too long to deal with. Im trying really hard not to wack it all off. 


I have drank enough wine in the last week to completely destroy whats left of my liver...and yours. And i'm on my way to get more right now. 


Where can a sister get a decent soul food dinner around  here? I mean, is it really THAT hard to add salt to the flour BEFORE you put  the chicken in it? 


Just found out I get a 50% discount at Karmaloop.com! FOREVER!  Jesus take the magentic stripe off my credit card...


Why does Itunes hate so hard on PC users? They are really messing with my sanity right now. 


This no car note thing. I could totally get used to this. 


Packing sucks.


Moving sucks.


Being able to behold God all around you while standing out on your balcony, does NOT suck. 


Once you've had Verizon, every other cell phone carrier sucks. Period.


Last night my ex-husband proved, once again, that he is nothing more than a gigantic asshole and a glorified babysitter. 


My son is hilarious. I mean like Bernie Mac type of funny. He  gets it from his momma (in my Juvie the great voice)


The wine just kicked in...


I See ya Looking 


* That Damn Star*( is a cold piece of work)

On to the next one...

NOW BEFORE I WRITE THIS, I MUST SAY SOMETHING...
All of my posts are not directly related to me. Even when I don't say so. Listen to the message, don't shoot the messenger.
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EVERYBODY'S RELATIONSHIP IS SHOT TO SH*T RIGHT NOW!!!
WTH? EVEN MY STRAIGHT FOLKS GOING THROUGH IT!!! IS THERE SOMETHING IN THE WATER? CAN'T BE THE SAME THING IN THE WATER IN TN, AL, CA, IL, AND GA?! CAN IT?



Come on people! How is it that everyone lost their minds at the same time? I have the Captain who's ex is still ACTING like they're in a relationship. Another one of my girls (who is married) is pregnant by some other random dude. One of my homies ex even went so far as to write up a fake lease to keep her out of her OWN damn apartment! AND another friend on the west coast, her girl actually went to the Laker game with her ex "cuz the tickets were free." Ummm, like them mofo's wasn't gonna have another 90 freaking games this season. Quit playing!!! Then my, ummm....well my swee...umm gir..my exxxx,  oh hell, I don't even know what to call her.

Every needs to go back their corners, wait for the bell to ring, and start the hell over again.


By the way, this technically qualifies as a"Locked and Loaded" post. In case ya'll hadn't noticed. 
*sips wine*
And Good Evening
*Starrrra*

Locked and Loaded

Ya'll Knew One of These Was Coming Right?
Ok here we go...

My ex-husband is about as dumb as a bag of hair.

My homegirl Peaches can whoop all my other friends asses, including the dudes.

I can not wait to get these two biz deals off the ground!

I love makeup, but I never wear any outside of work.

It appears as if I was mistaken about something VERY important.

It aint were you from, it's where you at. My mind is in the Bay, my heart is in the bottom of the ocean.

If I saw Rush Limbaugh in the street, I would punch him in his fat, bloated, bullshit filled belly.

Conservative black people give me nightmares.

Everytime I see Drake on t.v. I get nervous.

Right now, I am starving.


I could care less if Nicki Minaj's/Amber Rose/Kim Kardashian butt is real. Angela Lola Love, on the other hand, should return her ass as soon as possible.Beacause she CLEARLY got a defective model.

                                                                    

NO BEUNO

Thats all...
*STAR*

Locked and LOaded

now would be a great time to do a locked and loaded post. but im to locked and loaded to do it.
*STAAAAAAARrrrrrrrrrrr*

BAD GYRL ALERT (Locked and Loaded)

When people do things that piss other people off, why do they get made at the responses that follow? I mean really. Lets say you're dating someone. Then you do something that tells the person you're dating that you don't really believe in them or what they have shown you. Is it fair for you to get mad at that person for moving on. I dont think so.

How is it that wine can taste like Sprite, but get you drunk like Patron?

I hate two faced people, but I am a magnet for they ass, sh*t.

Did anyone see Anita Baker on the BET tribute to Mary J. Blige? I have two words: Cougar and Smash

My 2 cousins are preggers, my good friend is preggers. They wonder why I don't drink the water @ they houses. Really

My son jacked up another kid @ school today. So his ass will be getting jacked up @home tonight.

Michell Obama's eyebrows scare the sh*t out of me.

I am officially sending out exclusive invitations for the SMASH Olympics. The first two invites will be sent to Kim Kardashian and Amber Rose (of course).

There's more wine in the fridge. I gotta get back to the biz.

YEAH!

Star

Locked and Loaded

Yep, i'm reloaded. Here we go.

What happpend to sitcomes? Everything is reality T.V. now. Most of it sucks.

LilDuvall said: I bet the real housewives of New York and Orange County looking @ the real housewives of Atlanta like, "who are these broke bitches?"

Long distance relationships suck.

Thanks for everything, Whiteface. You are the best.

I need a new a new gay BOYfriend.

Drake looks like he's a couple cromosomes short of a full deck.

Lil Wayne gotta have the most potent sperm in the world.

I know i'm a great makeup artist. Do not question my skills just cuz YOU dont look like Halle Berry when i'm done. My skills are the bomb. You need to change you perceptions.

If a person tells or shows you they're crazy, take them for their word. I didn't, and I ended up in intensive care for a week.

Watch out, cuz I will turn your tacky ass in to youknowyoudeadazzwrong.com with the quickness. Wut up Mo?!

I. AM. LIT.

LATER
STAR

New Series: Locked and Loaded

Random stuff that occurs to me when I've been "overserved." Like now.
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Why is it that I have like, 500 chanels and I only watch 5 of them?
How much food can a skinny five year old boy really consume in one day?
There really is no way to prepare yourself the end of a relationship.
If I could have one super power I would definately be a jumper.
I wonder if George W. Bush feels sorry for any of this mess.
Why do people cheat on each other?
What does Donald Trumps hair really look like

I could go on. I won't.
Nik